Alternate sexuality: Out of the closet? - Part II

RADHIKA DAS AND PALLAVI TYAGI / Apr 2, 2007, 16:23 IST

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We take a look at the odds faced by those who are stepping out of the closet.

Alternate sexuality: Out of the closet? - Part II

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While more and more people may seem to be coming out of the closet, the journey has been far from easy, and the road ahead even tougher unless something changes drastically.
Even though more number of people are seeking to break free - at the cost of social ostracism – the odds have been heavily against them. And if they dare to come out in the open, they live under constant pressure; for them it is a constant fight for survival.
“Things get bad when such women are forced into sex by their husbands or when the husband (or anyone else from the family) finds out that she is having a relationship with a female,” says Neha. And the men, according to her, want to belong to the crowd. “Male callers are those who are confused about their sexuality. They need help as it’s hard for them to accept that there is an alternate side to their personality. They are the targets of other people’s jokes and harsh treatment by their family members (in most cases elder brothers). These cases are hard to tackle as these guys are on the verge of suicide,” she adds.
She goes on to say, “They are not ready to get out of the closet because both the female partners involved in a relationship are financially dependent. We have helped a lot of them to earn their bread and then they do break free; however, they do not live in the same society after that, they relocate to distant places.”

Not only are these men and women considered outcasts, organizations are also frowned upon for their efforts to help such individuals. One such NGO actually refused to disclose any further information about them – neither the name of the females, nor the kind of training they provided to these females and the work that they do and was very reticent to talk about the entire issue. Not surprising considering that Indian law itself makes it illegal to have homosexual relationships. Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, enacted by the British, criminalizes what it calls, ‘sexual offences against the order of nature’.

“How do you expect the government to help?” questions Neha. “The biggest hurdle is the self-acclaimed society representatives. The NGO has faced failure in rescuing many troubled people because of these so-called representatives who are much more powerful than the police. As it is the police are biased and have never proved to be of much help. There has been a case where a female was beaten to death and we were sadly not able to help,” she adds.
If the Indian legal system makes alternate sexuality a criminal offense, the public has made it an even bigger moral offense. Remember noted Urdu writer Ismat Chugtai’s Lihaf (Quilt) – a short story that dealt with lesbianism and homosexuality in 1941? The authorities found the text so inflammatory that the writer was dragged to court. And this was 1941. More than six decades after, things aren’t very much different.
“Every society has its own view on sexuality and has set its own norm, which are linked to ones culture, social and religious beliefs. Therefore, each time they see people who, supposedly, have stepped out and broken the norm, it evokes a highly emotional response in them. They consider them guilty and thus to be punished,” says Dr. Chugh.
And not just in India. The West too, despite providing legal rights to same-sex couples, is not without its share of bigots. “I know many Western homosexuals who were kicked out of home and shunned by their families after coming out and many Indians who had difficult coming out processes but were never shunned by their families. In fact you could say the families went into the closet with them, their chief concern being not to let other people in society like the extended family find out,” elaborates Roy.
Even some of the doyens of Indian cinema, who have chosen to explore alternate sexuality on the screen, stop short when it comes to giving a stamp of acceptance. In Karan Johar’s Kal Ho Na Ho, Saif Ali Khan’s father, played by Satish Shah, grows visibly tense at the thought of his son’s ‘growing fondness’ for Shahrukh Khan as told to him by the maid. It’s only when Saif says, “Sab normal che” that he breathes a sigh of relief.
According to Neha, “The acceptance to alternate sexuality (that too in rare circumstances) can be cited only in metros by highly educated strata - when I say highly educated I mean someone who has done masters from a foreign country, is a doctor or may be lawyer. Then you always have people - those working at managerial levels, actors, singers, director - who are vocal about it. They accept their own sexuality and the rest of the society’s sexuality without any problems. The thing is that these people are independent enough, educated enough and wise enough.”
Economic independence, education, wisdom – is that what is needed for us to acknowledge that alternate sexuality is – and has been for long – prevalent amongst us? Or is it totally naïve to expect society to accept alternate sexuality at all? There are numerous questions that come to mind. “In the end I’d say the only thing that really makes change and shifts attitudes is personal relations. When your friend comes out as gay, it forces you to question your attitudes about homosexuality in ways no law, movie or academic paper can,” says Roy.
Maybe it’s as simple as that. Maybe not. Maybe we all need to make a beginning by simply ‘accepting’ that alternate sexuality does exist and needs to be tolerated so that its advocators can live life with dignity and respect. Think about it when you look into the eyes of that friend, cousin, sister, or brother next time.
Do you think that abolishing Section 377 will finally give homosexuality the stamp of acceptance in India?
Read what others have to say.
Alternate sexuality: Out of the closet? - Part I

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