Success and Solitude: A deadly mix

<div class="section1"><div align="center" style="position:relative; left: -2"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center" border="1" width="62.7%"> <colgroup> <col width="100.0%" /> </colgroup> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><img src="/photo/1003418.cms" alt="/photo/1003418.cms" border="0" /></div> </td> </tr> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><span style="" font-size:="" font-weight:="" bold="">Parveen Babi, once the most glamorous face of India''s Hindi film industry, was found dead in her Mumbai flat after police forced open the apartment following complaints from neighbours.(AP Photo)</span></div> </td> </tr> </table></div> <div class="Normal"><script language="javascript">doweshowbellyad=0; </script><br /><br />Sucess + Beauty = Failed Relationships & Solitude. Why does this jinx continue? <br /><br /><span style="" font-weight:="" bold="">Parveen Babi:</span> <br />India''s Marilyn Monroe. Glamour personified. Personified the woman of the ''70s. A successful film career. Had live-in relationships with the best men in the industry, but none worked out. <br /><br />In her later life, she lived a recluse, disconnected from the world, a depressed case, and ultimately her own paranoia and ''mental ailments'' consumed her. <br /><br />She left the world, without a soul around, and none to shed a tear.<br /><br /></div> </div><div class="section2"><div align="center" style="position:relative; left: -2"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center" border="1" width="51.3%"> <colgroup> <col width="100.0%" /> </colgroup> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><img src="/photo/1003419.cms" alt="/photo/1003419.cms" border="0" /></div> </td> </tr> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><span style="" font-size:="" font-weight:="" bold="">Film actress Rekha talks to journalists while publicizing her latest movie </span><span style="" font-size:="" font-weight:="" bold="" font-style:="" italic="">Lajja</span><span style="" font-size:="" font-weight:="" bold=""> in New Delhi. (Reuters Photo)</span></div> </td> </tr> </table></div> <div class="Normal"><script language="javascript">doweshowbellyad=0; </script><br /><br /><span style="" font-weight:="" bold="">Rekha:</span> <br />The ultimate diva, who has lived life on her own terms, but a very lonely life. <br /><br />A string of failed relationships, and the fading away of superstardom. <br /><br />She once claimed that even her marriage to Mukesh Agarwal was not for love, only for convenience. She never planned to live alone but here she is...<br /><br /></div> </div><div class="section3"><div align="center" style="position:relative; left: -2"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center" border="1" width="70.3%"> <colgroup> <col width="100.0%" /> </colgroup> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><img src="/photo/1003421.cms" alt="/photo/1003421.cms" border="0" /></div> </td> </tr> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><span style="" font-size:="" font-weight:="" bold="">An employee of Butterfields auction house displays a copy of Tom Kelley Studios'' model release signed by Marilyn Monroe in front of a photograph of Monroe taken by Tom Kelley during a Hollywood photo shoot in 1949, which was to be auctioned in Los Angeles.(Reuters Photo)</span></div> </td> </tr> </table></div> <div class="Normal"><script language="javascript">doweshowbellyad=0; </script><br /><br /><span style="" font-weight:="" bold="">Marilyn Monroe:</span> <br />Her life was almost a movie in it self. Her personal life produced three failed marriages and countless affairs. <br /><br />Hollywood''s greatest sex symbol''s life was a roller coaster of name and fame, difference being that she didn''t "live happily ever after". <br /><br />Loneliness, broken marriages, sadness, severe criticism and finally a bottle of sleeping pills. <br /><br /></div> </div><div class="section4"><div align="center" style="position:relative; left: -2"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center" border="1" width="51.6%"> <colgroup> <col width="100.0%" /> </colgroup> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><img src="/photo/1003424.cms" alt="/photo/1003424.cms" border="0" /></div> </td> </tr> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><span style="" font-size:="" font-weight:="" bold="">Nafisa Joseph</span></div> </td> </tr> </table></div> <div class="Normal"><script language="javascript">doweshowbellyad=0; </script><br /><br />What is it about beauty, success and solitude? <br /><br />Why do the most bold and beautiful women lead the loneliest lives? Why are they victims of broken relationships? <br /><br />Parveen Babi''s death has once again highlighted this jinx that has pushed many beautiful women to the brink of insanity, loneliness and suicide. <br /><br />Greta Garbo and Nafisa Joseph are other examples. The world (rather men), was at their feet. <br /><br />Nafisa, a former Miss India with a successful career in the glamour world, was a victim of loneliness. <br /><br />Three broken relationships, and the insecurity of these failures lead her to commit suicide. A sad ending to a happy person. <br /><br /></div> </div><div class="section5"><div align="center" style="position:relative; left: -2"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center" border="1" width="43.0%"> <colgroup> <col width="100.0%" /> </colgroup> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><img src="/photo/1003426.cms" alt="/photo/1003426.cms" border="0" /></div> </td> </tr> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><span style="" font-size:="" font-weight:="" bold="">Rekha reacts at a function to unveil the special issue of ''ELLE'' magazine in Mumbai on August 9, 2003. (Reuters Photo)</span></div> </td> </tr> </table></div> <div class="Normal"><script language="javascript">doweshowbellyad=0; </script><br /><br />So does the heady cocktail of beauty and success lead to broken relationships and solitude? <br /><br />Is this essentially a very showbiz trait? Well, the glam dolls are certainly exposed to heightened emotions, and can''t deal with failures, which eventually leads to a burn out. <br /><br />As Simmi Garewal says, "Rekha and I have often discussed this. The men react in a very strange way to such women. They are either total wimps or too aggressive, and can never be normal with women from the glamour world. <br /><br />It''s difficult to meet the right man. And even if you do get married, very few men can handle their egos of watching their beautiful wives being socially more acceptable. Hence, they land up in solitude, just in quest of the right man."<br /><br /></div> </div><div class="section6"><div align="center" style="position:relative; left: -2"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center" border="1" width="58.1%"> <colgroup> <col width="100.0%" /> </colgroup> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><img src="/photo/1003435.cms" alt="/photo/1003435.cms" border="0" /></div> </td> </tr> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><span style="" font-size:="" font-weight:="" bold="">Mahesh Bhatt</span></div> </td> </tr> </table></div> <div class="Normal"><script language="javascript">doweshowbellyad=0; </script><br /><br />When we try to simplify things, we falsify them. The glam dolls are always on the threshold of functional sanity, says Mahesh Bhatt.<br /><br />For someone like Parveen Babi, loneliness just played a catalyst to her genetic schizophrenia, and devastated her. I guess the heady blend of beauty and success is unforgiving to failures and doesn''t spare it. <br /><br />That''s why broken relationships devastate such women. They can''t cope with the downside of success. And once these beauty divas are over the hill, they feel as if they have been chewed and spat on the side wall, and hence, they submerge into a realm of loneliness. <br /><br />In the glamour world, they use people top rise to power, and when they are at the top, there is no one for them. They can''t deal with the fading away of power and beauty. Also, since they are always on the borderline of manic depression. <br /><br />Moreover, the nature of the glamour business is wedded to transience, when things do not work out, it afflicts them like a disease.<br /><br /></div> </div><div class="section7"><div align="center" style="position:relative; left: -2"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center" border="1" width="46.5%"> <colgroup> <col width="100.0%" /> </colgroup> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><img src="/photo/1003432.cms" alt="/photo/1003432.cms" border="0" /></div> </td> </tr> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><span style="" font-size:="" font-weight:="" bold="">Malavika Trivedi</span></div> </td> </tr> </table></div> <div class="Normal"><script language="javascript">doweshowbellyad=0; </script><br /><br />For Malavika Tiwari, former model and entrepreneur, "Success and beauty have their advantages and downsides. While it opens huge doors for you, it''s also very exasperating to keep proving yourself to the world. You have to make that extra effort in life, and this takes its toll. But I don''t agree that living alone is synonymous to loneliness. It could be the woman''s personal choice." <br /><br />Well, solitude also comes from the insecurity of not being successful in relationships, because a successful profession and near-perfect beauty, leads a woman to believe that she is perfect in everyway, and even the smallest failure devastate her emotionally. <br /><br />It is her expectations from herself and everything she does, that let her down and ultimately lead to disaster. It''s never a very happy situation.<br /><br /></div> </div><div class="section8"><div align="center" style="position:relative; left: -2"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center" border="1" width="52.5%"> <colgroup> <col width="100.0%" /> </colgroup> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><img src="/photo/1003425.cms" alt="/photo/1003425.cms" border="0" /></div> </td> </tr> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><span style="" font-size:="" font-weight:="" bold="">Greta Garbo</span></div> </td> </tr> </table></div> <div class="Normal"><script language="javascript">doweshowbellyad=0; </script><br /><br />Agrees psychiatrist, Dr Sanjay Chugh. "If a woman keeps her success and beauty as the yardstick for her identity, she will always alienate people. This is essentially true for women in the glamour world, where most men often think that they won''t make good companions. <br /><br />The woman, on the other hand, has ''near perfect'' expectations from her relationship, and always feels that there is someone better elsewhere. Hence, she lands up with broken relationships and terribly lonely."<br /><br /></div> </div><div class="section9"><div align="center" style="position:relative; left: -2"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center" border="1" width="59.0%"> <colgroup> <col width="100.0%" /> </colgroup> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><img src="/photo/1003441.cms" alt="/photo/1003441.cms" border="0" /></div> </td> </tr> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><span style="" font-size:="" font-weight:="" bold="">Parveen Babi. (PTI Photo)</span></div> </td> </tr> </table></div> <div class="Normal"><script language="javascript">doweshowbellyad=0; </script><br /><br />From a man''s point of view, they want to possess everything beautiful, and hence worship a beautiful woman, either as his mistress or wife. And the woman on the other hand, starts living her life through her man''s eyes and is in permanent quest to look beautiful for him. <br /><br />In the process, she loses her identity. A case of stolen beauty! And when this pretty face starts fading, she is not even in touch with herself or reality. <br /><br />Solitude is the result of this identity crisis, where she wants to discover her life, and is left without a soul around her.<br /><br /></div> </div><div class="section10"><div align="center" style="position:relative; left: -2"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center" border="1" width="48.6%"> <colgroup> <col width="100.0%" /> </colgroup> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><img src="/photo/1003434.cms" alt="/photo/1003434.cms" border="0" /></div> </td> </tr> <tr valign="top"> <td width="100.0%" colspan="1" rowspan="1" style="" valign:="" top="" background-color:="" f3f3f3=""> <div class="Normal"><span style="" font-size:="" font-weight:="" bold="">Kabir Bedi</span></div> </td> </tr> </table></div> <div class="Normal"><script language="javascript">doweshowbellyad=0; </script><br /><br />Kabir Bedi, who''s been around with some of the best women in the industry says, "Showbiz is notoriously cruel. If your utility to the business ends, they lose interest in you. Some very successful women are lead lonely lives because it''s difficult for them to find an ''equivalent'' partner, and they always like marrying ''up''. And there are fewer men to match their standards, which society has set for them. So they either land up in break-up, or totally single." <br /> <br />Successful women suffer from emotional loneliness--the absence of a close emotional relationship. Those superficial acquaintances that can cure social loneliness won''t touch the emotional variety. Although even one close relationship can cure emotional loneliness, for many that close relationship is much harder to build than a social network. <br /><br />Sad but true! It''s not easy to be successful and gorgeous! <br /><br />Your own poison consumes you, leaving you lonely and lost.</div> </div>