His story/ Her story: My husband doesn't have any friends!

Her story: Ours was an arranged marriage. All my friends attended our wedding, but no one came from my husband’s side. I did find it a little weird but did not give it much thought. But everytime I make plans to meet my friends, he makes an issue out of it saying, "Why do I need to meet them so often?” I have restrained myself from asking him why he does not talk about his friends, meet them, because he does not seem to have any.We recently had an ugly fight over the issue and I ended up showing him the mirror. I told him that it is his problem that he does not have friends which is why he does not understand my need to be with my friends, company beyond him. Some breathing space is necessary. I cannot be with him all the time, it is suffocating to spend all my free time with the person I am living with, even if he is a nice man and we love each other. It is frustrating.
His story: I grew up in a conservative family and despite being a boy, I wasn’t allowed to be out with friends. That turned into a habit and my everyday routine was to attend school/ college or work and head straight back home. I love cooking, playing games at home, reading books etc and spending time with my family. My wife is a social person and she has many friends. Her meeting them is not an issue with me but it is the frequency that bothers me. She is out with them every weekend and sometimes weekdays too. Initially I tried not to intervene but when she started going out too often, I told her that’s not how our marriage will work and it ended up in a heated exchange of words. I am confused as to how I should approach the situation.
Expert advice by Jigyasa Uniyal, Love coach: Isn't it an individual's choice to have friends or not? In my opinion, you shouldn't be worried if your husband doesn't have friends because it is his personal choice and you should respect it. Try to talk to him (if he is comfortable) about the reasons for not having friends. After hearing him out, take a call if the reasons are genuine or there is something fishy about him. If the reasons are genuine, you can try being his best friend without intervening in his privacy. But, if you sense something fishy, keep a close eye on his behaviour and daily activities.
Ajit Panicker, Life Coach Love & Relationship: A little dig into his history will do. With some people, it is that they don't want pushy, controllers in their life. Majorly there are two reasons for this - temperament and insecurity. Maybe your husband is shy and an introvert by nature. He doesn't want to open up easily. That might be the reason for having no friends. Another is insecurity and lack of trust, which is again a big reason for fewer or no friends.
Communication is the key. It is better to speak and find out whether he has some psychological issues. Something which is because of a traumatic past. Maybe friendships that resulted in disaster. As we humans are considered social, friends are an integral part of our lives. It is better to speak with friends, share your agonies and fix the issue by taking their help. Also, for maintaining friendships, time management is important. It is that key that if properly used can make and keep the relationships happy and going. You have to spare time for them and let people come to your home and become an integral part of your bigger family. Occasional gatherings, meeting friends and partying is extremely important as it helps you relieve stress.
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