His Story/Her Story: "He keeps whining about everything and I cannot take it anymore"

Her story: My husband is just never happy about anything in life. Be it people, relationships, his food, clothes, anything. He keeps whining about everything and it is very annoying. Sometimes I want to shake him up and tell him that his attitude ruins the mood of everyone around him. His mother also doesn’t discourage him. She quickly replaces anything he does not like. I don't know how to deal with this.


His story: Since my school days, I have not been someone who has settled for mediocrity. I agree I have issues with things around me. I think all people have but some say it out loud like me while some control it. I speak my mind. This however is unsettling for my wife. We have had ample arguments over this. She ends up calling me negative. I don’t know how to work on this and I do not want to ruin my relationship over this.


Expert advice by Dr Sanjeev Tripathi, Clinical Psychologist, Counselor, at SAMARTH Counselling: If he is whining about everything that means he is insecure about that particular situation and is unable to change it. It is best to sit back and speak to him and try to distract the topic with something more entertaining and light-hearted. This will help him to open up. If you are at fault you can apologise, don't feel offended for it.

This will boost his confidence and he will feel that he is also being treated right. But don't give him the right to emotional abuse or any sort of verbal abuse, if things go beyond the limit, try to speak to therapist. If he keeps whining, maybe he is trapped in a particular situation and he is unable to change that situation to his preference. If he constantly shouts, you can speak to him or change the subject of the situation.

You need to sit with him and brainstorm possible solutions. If things get worse, try to give him assurance and a tight hug and choose a relaxing place where you both can chill and let him talk about his issues. You should make him the centre of attention at that moment in time.

That's how he will feel for himself and ponder over the fact that why he is whining and shouting so much and start working on himself for betterment.

Expert advice by Jigyasa Uniyal, Love Coach: Tell him very candidly that his habit of whining about everything is irritating you and taking a toll on your relationship. Make him understand that it reflects badly on his personality to whine on petty issues and hides his good qualities as a person. He is your life partner and you have to support him in leaving this habit for his own betterment. Try being a little more patient while dealing with him. I am sure he will mend his way.


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Read also: His/ Her story: My wife's boss calls and messages her in the middle of the night! Is there something going on?

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