Which parenting style is right for your family? Exploring four approaches to raising children

Being a parent in today’s world is challenging as you are constantly flooded with opinions and ideas from family, relatives and, most importantly, social media. There are umpteen ‘correct ways’ to talk to a child, play with a child, feed a child and teach a child. Parenting, simply put, is the emotional connection between a parent and child. It is the balance between demand and responsiveness.Parenting techniques are largely influenced by culture and have adapted and changed over the years as a result of migration. With exposure, we tend to imbibe different cultures.Parenting techniques can be largely divided into four styles:Authoritarian parenting: This type of parenting was largely followed in India in the past and still is in many households in our country. Parents establish the rules that their children are expected to follow. Any mistake is met with punishment. Parents are rigid and have limited flexibility. As a result, children are often well-behaved, follow precise instructions and achieve goals. On the flip side, children may sometimes be aggressive or shy, have low self-esteem, and may have trouble making decisions. Some children may eventually rebel against authority. An example would be to order your child to eat a particular food for lunch because you said so.Authoritative parenting: Here, parents and children share a close, nurturing relationship. While parents do set clear expectations, they take time to explain the reason behind disciplinary action. Inputs from the child are encouraged while setting goals, and there is open and frequent communication between parent and child. These children are confident, responsible and able to regulate their emotions well. They tend to be emotionally stable and have good social relationships. Their independence further boosts their self-esteem, and they tend to excel in groups. This style requires a lot of patience, effort and time from the parent unit. Studies have found that this type of parenting, along with paternal affection in aware and educated parents, could have an impact lasting until mid to later life. An example would be to explain the benefits of a particular food but be firm and offer no other alternatives.Permissive parenting: These parents are warm and nurturing and have minimal expectations from their children. There are few rules, leaving children with a lot of freedom to navigate through situations. There is hardly any disciplinary action, and parents are more like friends. Children often make their own decisions regarding homework, screen time, bedtime and food. While these children are often confident with good social skills, they may develop negative habits, especially with regard to food. Unhealthy food choices may cause obesity. Often, they tend to be impulsive and demanding and struggle with self-regulation. An example would be to allow the child to eat any alternate food of their choice, like a bar of chocolate for lunch.Uninvolved parenting: Parents take a hands-off approach, giving children ample freedom. Basic needs are met, but parents are emotionally detached and disengaged from their child’s life. There is no specific disciplinary action, and communication with the child is usually limited. As a consequence, children are often resilient and self-sufficient. They may, however, face problems regulating their behaviour, struggle with academic challenges, and have difficulty sustaining social relationships.An example would be providing food but not bothering if the child has eaten or not.In a nutshellParents play a key role in shaping a child’s personality. However, additional factors like the child’s social circle, culture, nature of employment, therapy, etc may alter their personality.While there is no ‘one perfect style’, parents usually adopt a combination of styles. It is important to be warm and nurturing while setting limits when required. Parenting has both immediate and enduring effects on a child’s emotional, personal and cognitive development. So, let us be mindful and raise decent children who can be a boon to society.Written by:Dr. Anne Prewina GurushekarConsultant PediatricianKauvery Hospital, TirunelveliAbout the authorDr Anne Prewina Gurushekar is a Consultant Paediatrician at Kauvery Hospital, Tirunelveli, with 10 years of experience in both general paediatrics and neonatal care. She specialises in neonatal resuscitation, pediatric and neonatal emergencies, newborn care, and immunisation. With a comprehensive approach to child health, Dr Gurushekar ensures children receive the essential care they need for healthy development. Her extensive experience and dedication to providing high-quality care make her a trusted choice for both routine pediatric care and critical neonatal support.Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in the story are independent professional judgment of the experts and we do not take any responsibility for the accuracy of their views. This should not be considered as a substitute for medical advice. Please consult your doctor for more details. Kauvery Hospital is solely liable for the correctness, reliability of the content and/or compliance of applicable laws. The above is non-editorial content and TIL does not guarantee, vouch or endorse any of it. Please take all steps necessary to ascertain that any information and content provided is correct, updated, and verified.