Babysitting not a duty for grandparents: Judge

MUMBAI:

Parents

ought to steer away from a presumption that

grandparents

are meant to be babysitters, a family

court

has said, adding that grandchildren should not become their burden in old age.

“It is the primary duty of the parents and not the grandparents to take care of their infant children. Grandparents may be there to support, guide and assist in raising the children. However, they should not be burdened to babysit grandchildren as their primary duty, by compromising their relaxation, entertainment and travel plan,” said the court in Pune while passing final orders in a woman’s plea for maintenance for herself and two children. The court said the her tone in holding her in-laws responsible for having to place her children, when infants, in a crèche, was “absolutely wrong”.

“Grandparents cannot be blamed, if a child needs to placed in a crèche,’’ said the court.

Observing that with more women getting educated, employed and working, like their husbands, the family court judge

Swati Chauhan

said, “It is not an unusual scene that their children are kept in crèche for their care.” “It is the prerogative of the old and aged grandparents to willingly accept the task to babysit their grandchildren considering their own age, health, strength, engagement in extracurricular activities and other plans,’’ she said in a recent order.

The estranged couple, now in their 40s, had married over two decades ago. The wife had moved the family court for maintenance for herself and the children in 2012 when both were minors, the youngest was 10 years old. She alleged that her husband neglected their financial needs resulting in her having to resume her job four months after the birth of their first born. She also alleged that a few months after taking care of her infant child, her in-laws had gone travelling and also to visit their other son. So she had to keep her children in a crèche and paid for it. She had alleged that her husband never took responsibility for the children’s expenses for the last decade.

The family court said it was a “a very prevalent presumption of majority Indian families’’ that grandparents are a substitute for nannies.” “This should not be an imposed duty of grandparents. After performing all the duties and the responsibilities of life in their young and adult age, old age is the time for an old couple to live for themselves. There can be no doubt that the grandchildren are one of the precious endowments an old couple looks forward to. But this endowment should not become their burden,’’ said the judgment. It added, “It is very conveniently forgotten that the grandparents have their own life to live. They need their own space, time, entertainment, pleasure and rest.’’ Citing Gerontology, the study of ageing and the problems of the aged’, the court further said, “It is time to look into the specific needs of the aged in our society.’’

In an interim order in 2012, the court had directed the husband, who lives in another city, to pay maintenance of Rs 10,000 for each child, as the wife was bringing them up single handed. Both parents are earning. In its final judgment recently, the court held there was evidence to show that the husband had stopped paying money towards the need of the children for almost a decade. The court directed the father to share equally the cost of the children’s education, and continue paying their maintenance—for the son till he turns 18 and for the daughter till she marries—as well as arrears, but the wife should pay for their extra-curricular interests and hobbies.