I overcame self-doubt, learnt to accept myself: Meghana Raj Sarja

Meghana Raj Sarja recently shared a picture of herself on social media, which was accompanied by a caption that summed up the actor’s personal evolution: “From self-doubt, accepting and embracing I, me, myself,” she wrote. In a conversation with Bangalore Times, Meghana candidly spoke about how entering the film industry made her acutely aware of the intense scrutiny that women face, how she rebuilt her confidence amidst these pressures, and more. Excerpts:

‘JUST WHEN MY CAREER WAS TAKING OFF, I HAD THE WORST BREAKOUTS OF MY LIFE’
From believing I was the best to people suddenly pointing out ‘flaws’ I never even knew existed, showbiz felt different. Before I joined the industry, I had embraced every bit of myself. But the industry told me otherwise: from ‘your skin is oily’ to ‘you’re a little chubby’ and ‘try this for acne,’ I got a lot of unsolicited advice. Just when my career was taking off, I had the worst breakouts of my life. And that led to a chapter of self-doubt and insecurity.
‘AFTER RAJAHULI, I TRULY CAME INTO MY OWN’
Looking back, I think I had the best body during Rajahuli. I was full of self-love and began taking care of myself. I remember I was shooting a Malayalam film with VK Prakash and going on set with make-up. He took one look at me and asked me to wash it all off. I had a little acne back then, but VK sir said, “Meghana, you’re beautiful.” That took away some of my self-doubt.
‘MOTHERHOOD IS BEAUTIFUL, BUT ITS CHALLENGES STILL REMAIN UNSPOKEN’
Motherhood is a beautiful chapter, whose challenges no one really talks about. I went through an emotionally turbulent time, and it didn’t just have to do with Chiru’s (Chiranjeevi Sarja) demise. The pandemic was at its peak, and my entire family tested positive. There was so much to deal with and yet, some of my closest people including family’s first reaction on seeing me was, ‘Why have you put on weight?’. Hearing this constantly wears you down. And it’s hard to explain why your body changes. Something as simple as choosing clothes would be a battle. Until my friend Anusha picked out that sleeveless dress for me and said, ‘You’ve forgotten that beauty goes beyond your body,’ and that one sentence hit hard.
‘Women are looked at differently’
Growing up, I remember having this unshakeable confidence. I truly believed I was the best. I was a little chubby as a kid, became lean in my school years, but no matter what, I didn’t really care because I was comfortable in my skin. It’s only when I got into films that I realised how differently the world looks at a woman.
‘THE UNSOLICITED ADVICE STILL DOESN’T STOP’
People still tell me to do some diet or try a workout routine. Ironically, even my trainer has never called me fat. People love giving advice. But they don’t understand. Body shaming is real. And it’s cruel. Picking at someone’s flaws online shouldn’t be normal. The internet doesn’t have to be this harsh. Recently, I wore a dress to an event. And then a video of me being shot from an unflattering angle made it online. Especially when I try to stay strong, being caught off guard can shake me.

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