4 hidden signs of loneliness that require immediate attention, according to a top psychologist

The first image of loneliness that might pop into your head could be of a person sitting in a room, staring out the window. But loneliness doesn’t always look like that. It is more than just isolation, and is more serious than you assume. Sometimes, it hides in plain sight. Loneliness can linger, even when you are surrounded by people. Dr. Julie Smith, a clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author, has recently spoken about some of the lesser-known signs of loneliness and why it could affect mental health if ignored. Let’s take a look at the four hidden signs of loneliness.

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Social media is often a medium to stay in touch with friends, family, and acquaintances. According to Dr. Smith, people experiencing loneliness may scroll endlessly through social media and feel like it's a lifeline. “You scroll on social media constantly because it gives you that feeling that you're keeping up with your friends, but in reality, you haven't met them in person for way too long,” the psychologist said, in a video shared on Instagram. Though using social media as one of the means to stay connected is normal, only depending on it and endlessly refreshing feeds to stay connected is a big red flag.

Real day-to-day exchanges are superficial

One of the crucial signs of loneliness is that your daily interactions, be it with co-workers, neighbours, or acquaintances, may seem superficial. “Your day-to-day interactions seem kind of superficial and leave you feeling disconnected and empty,” she notes. These interactions would appear to be shallow. One might experience a lack of meaningful interaction, one that nourishes the soul.

Overthinking

Do you have a habit of replaying social interactions in your head? Well, this habit of dissecting everything over and over could be a far more serious issue than you think. According to Dr. Smith, obsessing over conversations or wondering if someone likes you or wants you in their life, is a crucial sign of loneliness. This is a way of seeking external validation to find true meaning in your life.

You don’t know where you belong

We all have an existential crisis once in a while, but if that’s really bugging you, it is a red flag. What would you answer if someone asked you ‘Where do you feel you truly belong?’ If this question overwhelms you, it is a clear sign of loneliness. This sense of not knowing where you fit is a silent cry for connection.


“If these signs of loneliness resonate for you, this is something to take seriously. Not just because the feeling itself is painful, but because it is both a warning sign for the strain that a lack of human connection will put on your overall mental health, but also crucial information about what you need in order to make things better,” Dr. Smith said.


“For some people, addressing loneliness is about finding and creating opportunities for connection. For others, it is about tackling the fears around social interaction and the skills needed to thrive in those environments,” she added.