What Will Smith's Oscar slap incident tells us about emotional control; how can we achieve it one step at a time

On Sunday night at the Oscars, when Will Smith lost his calm and slapped Chris Rock in front of a huge audience, the internet blasted off with opinions and memes, netizens were divided over the feud, while many blamed both the celebrities for crossing the line.

But what Will Smith did was nothing short of an impulsive act, a decision that was taken without a thought, in anger and probably because of certain insecurities. This could have been any of us! Emotions are a form of expression. While some are great at bottling them up, others face difficulty controlling them.

Smith's action, although unjustifiable, is something that most of us have gone through at some point in our life. Emotional control is something that we all struggle with and therefore, it is important to first understand what it is.

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Emotional control in one's ability to have some power over one's emotions, to be able to regulate emotions and express them in a more tolerable fashion. Having emotional control is one way to keep spontaneous and uncontrolled reactions at bay. Also called emotional regulation, it refers to a person's potential to manage and control their feelings and reactions. That said, it is all about being calm during turbulent times and reacting as the situation demands and not beyond.

Having emotional control does not mean suppressing all your emotions and not talking about it or expressing it. Emotional control or regulation has to do with detaching oneself from the negative feelings that arise and lead to impulsive and disruptive reactions.

Until and unless you gain clarity, think rationally and weigh your actions and the consequences, reacting to a certain situation may cause some serious damage. There is always a way to regulate emotions and channel them productively. No one is perfect and many learn through mistakes.

Emotional control is something people develop after losing it many times. What is important however is to understand your triggers, evaluate the consequences and the damage it may cause you and the others.

Often poor emotional control can lead to emotional self-harm. In trying to feed your anger, resentment, betrayal and fear, you put a lot at stake and give way to unnecessary suffering and problems.

Most of the times when people fail at showing control over their emotions, it results in regret and resentment. You may find yourself wanting to reverse the time so you could undo what you did. With time, it may have a long term impact on your mental health too, which is why you must continue monitoring your status.

Learning how to control your emotions may take time, but it is not something impossible. Here are some ways you can practice emotional control.

- Regulate, but do not repress. Emotions need to be expressed and not suppressed. So make sure you are heard but before doing so, lay down your plan rationally and be conscious of what you're about to say and the consequences it may have.

- Analyze the kind of emotions you're feeling. Do not come under the pressure of what people want you to do, rather focus on what you want. Do you really want to take the drastic step and invite unnecessary attention? Or do you want to reflect on it a bit more and take your time to respond?

- Identify your emotions. Know what you're feeling and ask yourself whether the reaction you want to give is necessary at all.

- Taking deep breaths can also be a great way to manage your emotions.

Remember, the goal should be to take control of your emotions and direct it productively rather than letting your emotions take control of you.