Do not confuse pain with pleasure - painful sex could be Vaginismus

Sex is supposed to be pleasurable. Anything apart from that means something is off. Painful sex should not be confused with pleasure or something that is 'okay' - it is not! Just because you do not see cuts, bumps, bruises and blood, doesn't mean everything is functioning well.

That said, if you experience pain during sex without any noticeable symptoms or signs, then it could be due to a condition called vaginismus.

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Vaginismus is a type of sexual dysfunction experienced by women, wherein the vaginal muscles tighten up on their own due to the fear of penetration. It involves tensing of the vagina and unintentional muscle spasms that cause pain. A penis, finger, tampon or medical instrument - irrespective of what is being inserted into the vagina, in the case of vaginismus, pain is inevitable.

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According to the UK National Health Services (NHS), the reason for vaginismus is not always clear. However, some of the causes could be:

- fearing that your vagina is too small

- a bad first sexual experience

- an unpleasant medical examination

- believing sex is shameful or wrong

- a painful medical condition, like thrush

Signs of vaginismus often include:

- Pain and discomfort during vaginal penetration

- Inability to have sex

- Painful sexual intercourse

The NHS says that vaginismus does not necessarily affect one's ability to get aroused and enjoy other types of sexual contact.

Furthermore, it is important to note that not all painful sex is caused due to vaginismus. Factors like vulvodynia, thrush, STD or STIs, menopause, pelvic inflammatory disease and endometriosis can also lead to painful intercourse.

Vaginismus is not a chronic problem, rather can be treated. One may require counseling and exercises, to not only relieve the fear and anxiety towards sex, but to also help the vaginal muscles to relax, respectively.

It is important to educate oneself about the anatomy of the body and what follows during an arousal and sex. Counselling can further help you realize your condition and ways to overcome it. Certain exercises and relaxation techniques may also support you through the process.

Sexual dysfunction can affect your relationships. However, it is important to know that it is not your fault and that there is nothing to be ashamed or guilty about. With the proper intervention and professional help, you can always overcome these challenges and lead a healthier, happier sex life.