From maps to meetings, my struggles as a dyslexic adult

K Vaishali
A lot of people believe that the effects of dyslexia are only felt in school, that adults aren’t affected by dyslexia. In a yoga class, meditating in padmasana, when the instructor asks the class to start anulom vilom breathing — use your right hand, gently close your right nostril with your right thumb — I go from a state of meditative calm to a state of dyslexic panic. I immediately open my eyes to look at the person next to me to mimic what they are doing. I’m 33 years old, and I can confirm that I still can’t process multi-step verbal instructions or tell left from right easily. Being a dyslexic adult means adjusting to awkward, embarrassing and, at times, frightening situations.

It’s awkward when a colleague wants me to review a document and I have to move the text to another application that’s more friendly to my screen reader, where I can change the font to a font that’s easier on my eyes. As a dyslexic person, I don’t read words by joining letters, I read words by recognising their shape. Since the shape of words changes with the font, my reading speed depends on the shape of the font.

It’s embarrassing when I am in a conference room at work where my peers and seniors are addressing me by my name and, despite significant conscious efforts, I can’t remember their names. If I know who’s invited to a meeting, I look at their profile pictures, their names, and look up their names’ pronunciations before the meeting, but multiple faceless profiles on the invite make me nervous. I cope by addressing them with pronouns — you/they/she made a great point!

It’s frightening when I’m in a foreign country trying to read a map to find my way around. Sitting in a bus stop chanting the bus number in my head so I don’t forget it, just to get on a bus and realise after a few stops that I’m going in the wrong direction. I have been confused and stranded more times than I can count. Dyslexia is a learning disability that primarily affects reading and writing skills due to difficulties processing language. The International Dyslexia Association claims that as many as 15-20% of the global population could have dyslexia. Dyslexia is not a reflection of a person’s intelligence or effort: many highly intelligent and creative individuals, including successful entrepreneurs, scientists and artists, are dyslexic. Dyslexia is not something a person can “grow out of”, but early detection and remedial education help dyslexic individuals learn strategies to improve their reading and writing skills.

My understanding of dyslexia is still evolving, I was already an adult when I was diagnosed with dyslexia. My evaluation involved a psychiatric assessment, an IQ test, and a series of tests that aimed to map my reading and writing skills to the standardised skill levels of various school grades. A psychiatrist then evaluated my reading and writing tests along with my IQ test and diagnosed me with dyslexia. Because skills are mapped to school grades, it’s harder to get diagnosed with dyslexia as an adult. Perhaps most telling of this fact is when I was seeking a diagnosis at the age of 20, an age when I could legally drink, drive, and consent to sex, the government hospital needed my parent’s signature to let me take the dyslexia assessment. My dyslexia evaluation used the Woodcock-Johnson 3 assessment and Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale IQ test which were both developed in the US. These tests weren’t adapted to the Indian context or education system and may be inadequate to test those who haven’t done their formal education in English, making them inaccessible and ineffective to most Indians.

As a dyslexic adult, I possess a unique cognitive toolkit that sets me apart. My mind excels at interconnected reasoning and abstract thinking, allowing me to quickly discern hidden connections and intricate patterns within complex, evolving systems. This enables me to leverage my dyslexic creativity to solve challenging problems with innovative solutions. Dyslexia also fuels my ability to be an empathetic storyteller. I can craft vivid narratives and deliver clear, engaging messages that resonate with others. Navigating an ableist world has made me resourceful and flexible, which makes me a highly effective team player. My professional achievements — a fast-paced career in tech and winning the Sahitya Akademi Yuva Puraskar for my book ‘Homeless’ — are a direct result of dyslexia, not in spite of it.

Vaishali is an award-winning author