How dating multiple guys on a popular dating app affected my mental health

When Tinder first came into the scene, I was pretty sure it wasn't meant for the likes of me. But as I saw my friends getting hooked on to the right and left swipes, I thought of giving it a try.

Soon enough I realised that Tinder was totally different from the real world dating scene. In the past, whatever relationships I have had, I was lucky to find common links who could help us meet and do the intermittent spying, mandatory for new dates. On the other hand, Tinder was a whole new world with unknown faces and mysterious feelings. You didn’t know if the profile you were checking was real or fake, if it was a friend fooling around with you or a stranger was genuinely interested in you.

To be frank, the first few times when someone superliked my profile, I felt ecstatic and it was good for my ego. All this while I had felt like an ordinary looking girl who somehow managed to find a decent guy to date. But on Tinder, I felt like a star. And this is exactly where all the trouble began. I started to think I was above any boy I met and that they would have to sweep me off my feet to convince me to meet them for a date.

I was getting arrogant. When you suddenly start getting attention which you never got before, it can affect you in two ways, mentally: Either you become more humane or lose it completely and become arrogant enough to annoy everyone around you. That’s the power of online dating apps like Tinder, they can play with your head in ways you can't imagine.

And as fate would have it, my balloon was going to be busted very soon. I came across a guy on Tinder. He was good-looking, a doctor, his bio was interesting and he was my age. I was so used to getting a like back on Tinder that I assumed it would naturally happen this time too. But it didn’t. It was no big deal, I thought. Maybe he left Tinder or swiped off too fast and missed my picture.

Few weeks later, I was at a friend’s party, where I met this doctor! I somehow instantly recognized him and later over a few drinks, asked him how come he missed my profile. And his answer shattered my confidence completely, then and there. He told me, “I did look at your profile but I found it to be too pretentious and frankly, I felt like you were trying too hard to prove something.”

Wow. Just by my profile he could guess something I ignored to acknowledge all this while. Even though my rude-self chose to ignore this as well, but it affected me more than it should have. I started pouncing at any opportunity to hook up with a guy and started staying up till 3 in the morning just to see if anyone liked my Tinder profile. The fright of rejection started to get to me. Even at work, I would keep checking my phone if I got a new like or not. I started crash-dieting before dates to fit into dresses which could only fit a mannequin. One rejection took a toll on me like 100 would on a person.

Online dating is super exciting and can really dig into your soul and rip you apart like you had never imagined. Yes, it can be that scary. It took me a while to get off Tinder and get back to being in a relationship with anyone. When you gain self-confidence, and then lose it at the drop of a pin, it ruins you from within and sometimes in unrepairable ways.

I went through a phase of self-doubt, low confidence and despair. Something I hadn’t experienced my entire life. And all this for what? Because I didn’t get a like back on Tinder.

By: Pratima Tiwari

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are that of the author and do not reflect the views of the company.