Parenting is mostly subjected to criticism
Irrespective of whether you are a new parent or a parent to 10 year olds, you are always subjected to criticism on the account of your kids' behaviour and mannerism. Everytime a child does something, the parents are criticized brutally.
So criticism is an important part of the parenting journey and one must learn how to handle it and not allow it to drain out the energy and confidence from you.
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Dr. Becky Kennedy, a parenting expert, has talked about how to handle this crisis in the most gentle manner. Through her Instagram account, Dr Kennedy shares amazing parenting hacks which address the issues every mom and dad face.
“You’re going to let them get away with that?!”
Dr Kennedy begins by putting the common questions which are thrown at parents frequently like “You’re going to let them get away with that?!” or “You need to punish them! How will they ever learn right from wrong?”
In the video, the expert who is also a mother to 3, has explained how to deal with such questions and not feel bad about it at the same time.
Here's what you need to do...
Take a deep breath and actually refocus on your child, suggests Dr Kennedy asks the parents to share words like this, "I know, I hear words all around us, too. Here's what else I know: You are a good kid having a hard time and whenever you have a hard time, I will always be there to help you."
What did you do here?
Explains Dr Kennedy: "You are sending the message to everyone that you are focusing most on your child, not on the criticism around you."
"You are also building confidence in your approach by hearing your words and you are sending the message to the other adults that you care more about connecting with your child than justifying your approach to anyone," she adds.
“You’re a good kid having a hard time”
To a comment on her video which says, “You’re a good kid having a hard time.” I’m definitely using this with my students. Thank you!, Dr Kennedy replies, "that’s truly the core good inside idea brought to life. Every framework and workshop and script comes from seeing our kids as good kids having a hard time… not bad kids doing bad things. Of course we still need firm boundaries - but boundaries go hand in hand with warmth not punishment or treating our kids like enemies. We need to see them as good inside so we can teach them the skills they need for life (regulation, confidence, anxiety management, independent sleep, sibling dynamics etc etc!)."
What if the partner criticizes the parenting?
Co-parenting can be said to be the ultimate litmus test of partnership. There can be times when you might lose your patience and yell out at your partner and the most obvious thing to lash out at will be the way they are raising the kid.
While it happens many times in families, it needs to be handled properly.
The mechanism to deal with a complaining partner who constantly mocks your about your parenting is the same as the way you deal with outsiders. At the end of everything what matters is your position in your kid's life.
Instead of getting aggressive, keep a space for discussions and list down the cons said by your partner. Only after then can you decide whether you wish to pay attention to what he/ she is saying or is it just a repercussion to another lame argument.
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