Why “boys will be boys” and “girls are gentle” are misleading

We often hear phrases like ‘boys will be boys’ or ‘girls are gentle’, which are made as passing statements without giving much thought to it. These phrases may come across are harmless but it labels are certain gender and it’s how a gender specific kid start to see themselves as. By reducing their personalities to these gender based expectations, the phrases can limit their emotional growth. It will build stereotypes and affect their confidence and behaviour from early on.

Boxes a child’s personality

While a boy may feel that all their actions are justified because that’s how a boy is, a girl tends to feel that they are supposed to represent the meeker section of the society. It sends across the message as their behaviour is acceptable because of their gender. Calling a girl ‘soft’ or ‘gentle’, can suppress their individuality or put a pressure on them to suppress their anger or leadership qualities. These types of labels will deny them on the freedom to express or explore who they truly are.

It affects their self-worth

Girls may be discouraged from being outspoken or bold and boys may receive the phrase that showing vulnerability, fear or sadness is a weakness. This can lead to emotional suppression and create self-doubt and boys and girls. When children are made to fit into a certain mould, their self-esteem can suffer.

Limiting their potential

Stereotyping a kid just doesn’t affect their childhood, it affects their future relationships, career choices and self-belief. Excusing such behaviour in boys doesn’t hold them accountable while expecting a girl to be accommodating will make it difficult for them to set boundaries. Such kind of stereotypes contribute to unequal expectations.

These phrases should be replaced with language that teach empathy and accountability. It will help a kid grow into confident and balanced adults. Kids should be taught to be kind, expressive, responsible and strong individuals regardless of their gender.



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