Teenage stress: signs parents often miss

Teenage stress is rarely dramatic or visible. In most cases, the manifestation of teenage stress is not fiery but rather silent, routine, or otherwise ‘normal’ behaviours associated with adolescence. As teens are forced to deal with academic, social, self-identification, and technology-based pressures, the stress begins to accumulate beneath the surface. Parents, unaware of the true meaning of some changes in the life of the child, tend to see these behaviours as attitude problems, not signs that a child might be struggling under the burden of stress. It’s vital to be familiar with some of the indicators to be able to provide support, not pressure, with understanding and trust during this critical time in the life of the child.

Sudden withdrawal that looks like independence

When teenagers start spending more time alone, this can also be misinterpreted by the parent, who thinks this is a part of becoming independent. Spending too much alone can also be a cause for concern, and this can lead a teenager to avoid family time, talking, and interacting altogether, which may also mean that a teenager might be stressed up inside and prefers to remain quiet instead of letting others know how they are feeling.




Changes in sleep patterns that go unnoticed

Stress can impact a child’s sleep, but for a teenager, this might mean staying up late, sleeping too much, or always looking tired. While a parent might think their teenager is staying up late due to their phone or the fact that they are being lazy, they might not see the emotional factor at play. A teenager might be having racing thoughts as a result of pressure to perform or because of some anxiety, meaning that they cannot sleep. When a parent recognizes constant behavioral change without judgment, they begin to realize that the child is being affected by a certain factor – stress.



Irritability disguised as attitude

Short tempers and snapping at things may seem like “typical teen behaviour.” However, irritability is a very common presenting symptom of stress for teens. When they are overwhelmed and unable to explain what they mean by it, they resort to using frustration as a way of communication. This does not mean that a parent should excuse any hurtful behaviour, but using a different approach to ask questions can help parents understand what really bugs their teens beneath the surface.



Loss of interest in things they once loved

“If your teenager gradually loses interest in their hobbies, sports, or any creative activity that they used to love, it’s easy to attribute it to them ‘growing out of it.’ However, it’s possible that stress has taken its toll, making them no longer enjoy, or have any motivation for, these activities. When school, social media, and other activities put too much pressure on them, these things that were once enjoyable have now become stressful, causing them to be emotionally distant. With some nurturing and no added stress, this may help your teenager associate these activities again with happiness.”



Over-functioning that looks like responsibility

Some distressed teenagers do the opposite of withdrawing; they overachieve or overperform. They become overly responsible and perfectionistic or anxious about achievement and performance. Parents may unwittingly reinforce such behavior by praising it, which is actually indicative of the underlying stress the teenagers feel from constant pressure to succeed without failing. The stress exhibited by teenagers who feel they must achieve to be loved and appreciated is every bit as stressful as the stress of openly airing emotions.