Why your child may not speak up about getting bullied; signs to note

Bullying is a serious matter of concern, especially in today's time where digital space has also become a hotspot for it. But what's shocking is that it is often overlooked or undetected due to its subtle signs.

One of the primary reasons why bullies escape or evade consequences is because the victims choose to let the instances go unreported. Children who are often subject to bullying go through a myriad of emotions and stressful situations. They experience anxiety, have low self-esteem and are fearful of their suppressor - some of the major reasons behind why they do not tell anyone about the problem.

Let's discuss the fears that stop the child from speaking up about the bullying.

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Children who are bullied feel powerless and are always in fear. They want to seek help, tell their parents all about what they're going through, but the thought of how their parents are going to react, how they're going to jump in to fix things and mend ways, is what scares them. What frightens them even more is retaliation from their bully. The revenge that they'll seek on them and how they'll make their lives worse than it is already. This is why victims of bully fight their own battles, let the storm pass on their own.

As far as bullying is concerned, it is all about power and control. The bully feels mighty and powerful, whereas the bullied or the victim feels weak, making them subject to shame and embarrassment. In certain cases, kids may be bullied for something they're already conscious about, such as their physical appearance. Other times, they may be targeted for something they did in the past. Either way, they may feel embarrassed to talk about it to anyone.

Victims of bullying have a strong want for acceptance, to fit in and be a part of the pack, which is why they never tell on their bullies or give them away. Sometimes, they even act like their bullies and tolerate fake friendships, just to maintain their part in the social ranking.

Most of the time, bullies are great at hiding their maliciousness. They're usually on good terms with the teachers, coaches and other peers, and since they're popular, no one even dares to doubt them. Therefore, the victims are almost compelled to think that not only will they take their side or believe them. So why tell at all?

Parents who want to make sure their children are safe and secure, here are certain signs of bullying in kids you must watch out for:

Emotional and behavioural signs of bullying include:

- Extreme mood swings

- Isolation

- Changes in sleep and eating patterns

- Increased sibling fights

- Aggressive behaviours

- Withdrawal from families and loved ones

- Getting poor grades in school

Physical signs may include:

- Unexplained bruise marks, cuts and scratches on the body

- Returns home with missing or damaged belongings

- Frequent headaches or stomach pain