7 common mistakes to avoid in your relationship with in-laws

As the famous saying goes, marriage is not only between two people — it’s also between two families. Sometimes, impressing your partner becomes much easier than impressing their family. It takes months, and sometimes years, just to figure out how to become ‘THE ONE’ for your in-laws.

Here are 7 mistakes one must avoid in a relationship with in-laws:

Getting involved in or choosing sides during family disagreements can permanently damage your relationship with in-laws. You haven't grown up with them from the beginning, which makes you unaware of their trigger points. Even if you have good intentions, you're seen as an outsider taking a stance, which may lead to annoyance or mistrust.

Every generation has its own way of dealing with things. The idea of ‘parenting’ changes over time and there’s no point in sitting and moral policing or deciding ‘who’s right.’
Whether you're giving advice to your in-laws about how they raised your partner or reacting defensively to their suggestions about your own children, higher chances that it’ll backfire.

Everyone grows up in a different setup — culturally and financially as well. Different families have different expectations — from how often you visit, to how you address elders, to holiday traditions. There is no rulebook that can dictate exactly what to do. Assuming your norms apply universally can lead to misunderstandings. Instead of playing the guessing game, it’s always better to ask about their expectations early, and openly communicate what works for you as a couple.

Trying to set boundaries with your in-laws directly — without being on the same page with your partner — often causes confusion or division.Remember, your partner knows their parents better than you. They can guide you about what to do and what to avoid. Discuss your boundaries with your partner privately first so you both can defend or stand up for each other when it’s needed.

Human beings are meant to be different, and the best way to deal with it is to accept it.
Comparing them to your own parents, using them to prove a point, or referencing their behavior to manipulate your partner can destroy both your romantic and extended relationships.Better approach: Keep conversations constructive and avoid weaponizing family dynamics.

There’s a thin line between “family” and "like a family." If you start changing your behavior or expecting others to instantly change theirs toward you, in most cases, it’ll lead to disappointment. Respect and affection take time to build — closeness is not a skill that can be mastered overnight.

Being an extremely sensitive topic, money often causes tension between couples and in-laws. It can relate to anything: gift purposes, support, or expectations.
But going by preconceived notions or not addressing what bothers you can lead to control issues and misunderstandings.