5 mothers-in-law share how they dealt with their difficult daughters-in-law

It is a well-known fact that mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law often have a love-and-hate relationship. In many houses, it is very bad and in some, it is a beautiful relationship the duo shares. Here we have 5 mothers-in-law who anonymously told us how they dealt with difficult daughters-in-law.

My son had a love marriage and he married a girl from a different caste so our ideologies, and culture were very different. I was very excited to have a daughter in the house because the only female in my family was me with 2 sons and my husband. I thought that when she comes, she would eventually adjust to our way of living but I got a very immature and selfish daughter-in-law. Even my son knew that certain things she did were extremely wrong but he loved her and knew what he was walking into. One fine day, my daughter-in-law and I had a major fight and it got very ugly. So much so that I had to ask my son to look for their own place. It hurt me so much but this was the only way. It has been 7 years now and today, we share a cordial relationship.

My daughter-in-law was a darling in the beginning but she slowly started showing her true colours. She started gaslighting my son against me. There were certain peculiar things she would do in my son’s absence and later I realised that she wanted to squeeze my husband and me out of this house and was aiming to us make us shift into a smaller flat that we owned a few kilometers away from our current home. I would have appreciated it more if she had directly asked us because we were mentally prepared to give the couple space but this was too much. So, I started acting the way she did. Literally mirrored her actions and after 2 weeks, she came back on track.

My friends had warned me that daughters-in-law are not so easy etc. but when my son brought his wife home, I was on cloud nine. She is literally this kid full of energy and she keeps all of us happy. She solves silly fights, resolves small issues at home, and takes care of our joy factors. I started treating her like my own daughter and I have never been so happy. She brings something fresh to the house dynamics and she also keeps me in mind whenever and wherever possible. Daughters-in-law can be a blessing if you accept them with an open heart.

When she stepped into the house, my son, husband and even my old father-in-law were literally mooning around her. Everything about her was nice, they loved her cooking, and once even had the cheek to tell me that her food had more flavour than mine. For a good 2-3 years, I hated her but she would do small gestures that I would feel guilty about after some days. One fine day, I decided to stop competing with her, and that changed our relationship. I felt stress-free, and lighter at heart, and my constant headaches went away. It was all about accepting the power transition. My boys started making efforts to keep us both happy. We would cook on alternative days so that there was a balance. I felt more included than ever when it came to different activities.

I really wanted to work things out with my daughter-in-law because I hate negativity in the house and family. I looked up the internet because kids today find solutions for everything online and I did find a resolution. I decided to go for counselling with her and to my shock, she too readily said yes! We looked up for a space, went there, and took a few sessions and we love each other now. There were so many misunderstandings between us, so many things we were just not accepting of it. I would suggest counselling to all people because it helps and it is not expensive either!

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