Things I wish I knew
The wedding night in India is generally talked about like the door to Narnia and the truth is far from it! As an Indian bride, I would like to make it crystal clear to all the brides-to-be that our Bollywood movies are a lie and there are so many things that you would wish you knew beforehand besides the “virginity ka vrat todna” part! Here are 5 things I sure wish I knew before my wedding night ...
You are too tired to have first night sex
After the many functions, being on your heels the entire time, a painful plastered smile on your face until you close the door of your room after the wedding, the “wedding night” concept shown in Hindi movies is a FARCE! Even if you think you can fit in some sex, your body tells you that it needs an 8 to 10 hour sleep!
Your feet are swollen, your back is aching and generally the bridal attire is so heavy in Indian weddings that all limbs cry by the end of it all. They need to breathe, and all you crave is a full body massage. Golden milk or turmeric milk is great not because it gives energy (nothing is instant unless it has some chemicals), but because it works on your quality of sleep. Sex in most cases is the last thing we think about as a bride. The groom may be preparing for it like the carrot that kept him going through all the functions, but by the end, even he may just help you with the heavy jewellery and clothes, perhaps a warm bath together in the tub and then a good sleep. Also, keep some snacks handy for midnight unless you are at a good hotel with round the clock room service.
The insecurities come out
No matter how much we prepare ourselves, work on our bodies, either or both of you will have some insecurities about your bodies or even digestive system that are bound to come out once and for all. This is the night when you let your partner see the real and permanent you and you tend to be very vulnerable at this point. Your partner’s reaction sets the entire marriage in motion. For example, if you have cellulite on your thighs or stretch marks on your stomach or back due to the instant weight loss or even a birthmark in an odd place, and your partner even accidentally gives a very weird and unsettling reaction, you become insecure forever in a way. The reaction stays with you. A positive reaction tells you that you can literally be the way you are with him and that you should be proud of your body. If you are not a strong person, you as a human seek some sort of validation from your one and only.
Orgasm & erection is not necessary
When we think of wedding night, our movies show that you have amazing sex, there are fireworks and what not but, the reality is, that the stress may take a toll on the groom’s erection, and even if you have sex, there rarely is an orgasm. The exhaustion and over expectations, both can ruin the night unless you see it like a regular night when you can just enjoy your partner’s arms.
The snoring can make you miserable
Until and unless you are aware and have experienced your partner’s snores, you are in for a sleepless night! Tip: Pack a pair of earplugs in your purse. The snoring can be so loud that you can get a migraine in the morning because of less to no sleep. Pack an eye mask as well as along with a good effective pair of ear plugs.
The bridal lingerie will be a waste
The movies had prepared my mind in one way and that was to pack good bridal lingerie where some of it can be borderline uncomfortable too but it should be sexy. The reality is, wear what is comfortable but looks nice too. There are many options out there in the market today. My personal suggestion would be a bandeau or a bralette. Ditch the granny panties, the whites and beiges can come out after a few weeks of your wedding. Just invest in some colours. Underwire is a strict no if you know what I mean. Love lacey lingerie? Buy but be practical about the comfort.
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