Expert explains 3 ways in which your partner can CHEAT on you

What is cheating in simple terms? A violation of a contract. Two parties agree to something, and then one of them goes back on the agreement, reneges; that’s called ‘cheating’. So if the relationship exists purely on the physical domain, then you will be greatly offended if you find your partner sleeping around with somebody else, because that was everything there was to that relationship — the body. Definition of cheating also describes the plane on which your relationship exists. The relationship could be on a spiritual plane, it could be on a mental plane, it could be on a physical plane. Cheating is possible on all three planes.

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“You give me pleasure, I give you pleasure. And to ensure an uninterrupted and secured supply of physical pleasure, you remain physically committed to me and I remain physically committed to you. What do I want from you? Pleasure; ‘physical pleasure’. And we are committed to each other.”

What does this commitment now mean?

“You must be there when I need pleasure from you because our relationship is physical; we exist in each other’s lives to scratch each other’s itch. So it should not happen that one particular night I have the itch, and I don’t find you by my bedside. That should not happen.”

So the commitment practically means — “You should be there when I need your body.” And now what is cheating on this level? “I needed you, but you were somewhere else, and that’s cheating. That’s a violation of the physical contract.”

If you are absolutely offended, if you find your friend, your partner, whatsoever, with somebody else in the physical sense, then that feeling of absolute offense implies that the relationship itself is absolutely physical.

In the mental relationship, there is an exchange of emotions — “I am emotionally related to you; it’s a romantic relationship.” “You do good things for me, I do good things for you, not necessarily in the physical way. You bring me stuff, I cook something for you; you take me places, I say nice things to you. Sometimes you click me in a cool pose, sometimes I sing a song for you,” — that kind of a relationship. In this kind of relationship, “You keep doing things that please me mentally; maybe not so much physically, but surely mentally.”

“So you keep doing things that please me mentally, and I will keep reciprocating by doing stuff that pleases you mentally. We will be each other’s ‘ego friends’. I will boost your ego, you please my ego.” So in this kind of emotional relationship, the moment you say something bad to the other, it’s cheating. And you will be met with a lot of aggression. You will be delivered blows — “Why do you do such things? Why did you not look kindly at me? I bought this new wonder dress, and you ignored me? Cheating! Cheating!” And obviously, on this plane, if you find someone going around with someone else, that too is offensive to the ego. So that too is cheating.

Spiritual relationship, in which two people are together not for the sake of each other, but for the sake of that ‘something’. so here cheating is not about — “Whether you deceived me or whether I deceived you,” now cheating is about — “Whether either or both of us deceived that ‘something’.” “Now I won’t stay with you a second if I find you not loyal to that ‘something’. You do not need to be loyal to me; I neither demand nor deserve your loyalty. But I surely want that you need to be loyal to that ‘something’. And if I find you being disloyal to that ‘something’, then you have had it! Then you have had it!”

“You don’t want to please me, no problem; even I am not here to please you. Chances are, I will do stuff that’s not going to please you, because in going towards that ‘something’ the ego has to take a beating. You won’t usually happily and agreeably move towards that ‘something’. If I am to help you, assist you to move towards that ‘something’, I will have to push you against your wishes. You’ll resist; not always maybe, but mostly.”

So obviously this is not a relationship in which there is a mutual exchange of pleasure. “We are not pleasing each other. What are we doing? We are pushing each other, we are assisting each other, we are helping each other.” Some people say that it is the best way to say, “We are loving each other.” But then, that’s not the commonly accepted definition. Only some weird spiritualists feel that that is the right definition of ‘Love’.

Movies are the visual description of what the community needs, wants, and wishes for. It depicts the lives of every community in the world. When it comes to personal topics like cheating many movies portray the same with great efficiency and accuracy, while some are way too different from what reality is.

The above column has been written by relationship expert and spiritual guru Acharya Prashant.

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