These communication patterns destroy trust, ruin relationships

All happily married couples, even broken up, former couples would agree to this that communication is the key to any healthy relationship. All bonds hang by a thin thread of trust which can easily be broken with miscommunication. So if you have been making these mistakes by following these communication patterns then stop now because these can destroy trust and ruin relationships in a jiffy.

No one likes being blamed and constant taunts make the other run away from you. When you say “it’s your fault”, “Why do you always do this”, “You never…”, you are scraping off emotions the other feels for you. Try another way of making him/her understand what you really want. Also, accept that the other is built in a different way and cannot always do what you feel is right. His or her rights and wrongs can differ from yours.

When you do something for someone, you do not keep tabs on it. Then it means you did it for a selfish reason anyway. There is no room for unhealthy competition in any relationship. There are no losers and no winners. So quit this attitude.

In a relationship, it is always a two way traffic. You cannot have a my way or the highway attitude. This just makes the other resent you, disconnect from you and make them feel unimportant.

There is not a single soul that doesn’t have a broken past, a sad memory or a weakness. They may hide it well but it hurts when anyone tries to dig. When you say things like “ there you go again”, “you did this earlier too”, etc, it simply forces the other to shut down with you. You have kicked them on their exposed belly, their vulnerable side.

When you say you do not care, or even a “whatever”, it makes the other feel worthless, as if their existence does not matter to you. If you keep forgetting plans with them, or whatever has to be done, repeatedly, the other just starts losing interest in you. They become numb and that is the last thing you want in a relationship.

No matter how romantic it sounds in the movies, these dialogues make the other run away and presume that you really have no life. Even if you have and you love the other whole heartedly, declaring it once in a blue moon with such intensity is fine, but if you over do it, you are in a way showing that you do not believe in individuality. It sometimes puts a next level pressure on the other that he or she too has to feel the same way for you. This makes them run in the opposite direction.

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