5 subtle signs of a workplace frienemy-- And how to deal with them

For working professionals, having a friend in office is a blessing indisguise. Our work friends are the ones who genuinely help us navigate stressful and challenging times, and even celebrate our wins. However, not all co-workers who pretend to be our friends genuinely like us. Infact, some of them may even secretly undermining you — thus being “frienemies.” Unlike obvious rivals, frienemies are hard to spot because they mix compliments with criticism and support with sabotage. They might smile to your face while plotting behind your back. If you’re left confused, drained, or second-guessing your instincts after interactions with a certain colleague, you could be dealing with one. Here we list some subtle signs of a workplace frienemy and a few smart tips on how to deal with them:

Frienemies are jealous of you, but they often mask it with compliments that don’t feel right. For example, they might say, “You did well for someone with no experience,” or “You’re lucky to be noticed despite your quiet nature.” These compliments subtly undermine your abilities while pretending to support you. Such comments are disguised as compliments, but they subtly pull you down and it's a major red flag you shouldn't ignore.

How to deal: Don’t react emotionally. Instead, acknowledge the compliment politely and move on. Avoid talking or sharing much with such people and they'll realise what wrong they have done.

Frienemies are vicious. Instead of openly competing with you, they try to outperform you secretly. They'll copy your ideas, way of working, and even snatch your friends-- all while pretending to help you or being nice to you. Beware of such people, and it's better to stay away from them.

How to deal: Keep a written record of your contributions to the team or company and share regular feedback to your boss, before your credit is stolen by anyone else. Don't let office politics and frienemies affect your work; let your performance speak for itself.

A real friend stays by your side in tough situations and in your wins. And they are genuinely happy to celebrate your success. But a frienemy vanishes or downplays it. Why? Because secretly they are jealous of you. Their discomfort with your growth is a huge red flag.

How to deal: Don’t chase their validation. Instead surround yourself with people who are genuinely your friends.

Frienemies pretend to be your friend on your face. But, the moment you aren't around they won't waste time to badmouth and gossip about you. And sooner or later, you'll get to know about this.

How to deal: Ignore your haters; instead, focus on work and build your reputation through your work and professionalism. If you hear about such gossip, confront the issue calmly or address it through HR if necessary.

Frienemies wear a mask of support in meetings but criticise your ideas privately.

How to deal: Set boundaries. Acknowledge their feedback only if it's constructive. If their comments feel more personal than helpful, distance yourself emotionally. Focus on objective input and seek feedback from mentors or trusted co-workers.