Fun headlines: Vadodara 89-year-old wants sex, ‘dead’ Haryana man parties, snake vs monkey in Kerala

The weekend is here and we have just one question for you. Why so serious! Sure, the week was long and you must have had a lot of work to catch up. Plus all the gloomy headlines with floods in one part of the country and heatwaves in the other. But relax, we aren’t going to talk about all that today. In this episode of the Great Indian Circus, we are back with some fun headlines of the week. So let’s get right to it.Vadodara woman complains of hypersexual husband In Vadodara, Gujarat, an 87-year-old called up the Abhayam women’s helpline to complain about her 89-year old husband. Apparently the husband keeps insisting on sex every now and then while the woman’s health doesn’t allow her. The woman reportedly said that when she refused, her husband would create a ruckus and scream at her. The elderly man would shout and scream so much that the whole neighbourhood knew about it. Fed up with the man's antics, the family called the helpline. In the end, the helpline team reached their house and tried to counsel him. Officials reportedly requested the elderly man to control his urges and try doing yoga and other activities. Right. Like that’s ever worked! The family members were also apparently told to take the elderly man to a sexologist for a long-term solution. I’m not dead, says 102-year-old This week, the elderly seem to have really got their mojo working. Duli Chand, a 102-year old from Haryana’s Rohtak, took out a baraat procession in an ornate carriage, carrying a placard that read: “Thara fufa jinda hai,” meaning, your uncle is alive. If you are thinking about congratulating him for being so full of life, there’s a plot twist. Apparently, Duli Chand had been declared dead in the government records and had not received his pension since March. Tired of visits to the officials to reclaim his pension, he devised a new strategy and took out the baraat declaring he was alive. Well, this story has a happy ending. Rohtak officials were quoted as saying that an order for revision has been sent to the Department of Social Welfare. So, the score is Duli Chand 1, Red Tape: 0. Serial groom made roosterIn Muzaffarnagar, Uttar Pradesh, a much-married man who tried to marry yet another woman was made to do the rooster – that thing with ears and hands and feet that is now illegal to make erring children do in school. A video has surfaced on the Internet where the man’s first wife is giving him the corporal punishment treatment. Turns out he was trying to get married for the third time when his first wife got to know. What followed was the police lock-up for Mr Casanova, obviously.Snakes vs monkeys in Kerala Monkey menace is a common problem for many places in our country, and especially here in Delhi for sure. Even Rashtrapati Bhavan and Parliament have not been spared and of course there are langur owners who rent out their animals as guards against the monkeys. But officials of the Cumbummettu police station, located on the Kerala-Tamil Nadu border, have this week upped their anti-simian game to a whole new level. Fed up of monkeys and their mischief, these officials kept rubber snake replicas around the police station. So far, the mission has been successful as no monkey is now seen near the police station. Delhiwalo, what are you waiting for, here’s a solution to protect clothes hung out to dry!Anchor: Jasleen BhallaAudio production: Sahil Gupta