Exclusive! When I feel low or unable to control negative thoughts, I start meditating, praying, or hold Ekbir: Addite Malik

TV actor and new mom Addite Malik who welcomed her first child in April this year has not just been giving us sweet glimpses of her son Ekbir on social media but also has been talking about topics that concern every new parent. From breastmilk vs formula milk, weight gain to postpartum depression, she has been vocal about it all. When asked about how she is dealing with different challenges as a new mom, Addite says, “I’m a very sensitive person and I tend to think a lot, hence I chose to not read a lot about postpartum depression; neither consulted with my doctor or any other counsellor. I didn’t want to burden myself by presuming that whatever I feel or experience is associated with PPD and wanted to take each day as it comes.”

Addite says, “Whenever I feel low or unable to control negative thoughts, I start meditating, praying, listen to some good music or simply look at Ekbir’s face and I feel calm. Every new mom needs to give her body and mind enough time to process all the changes. This was also a reason why I decided to put it all out on my social media handle. Initially, I started out journaling it on social media to keep myself busy and keep negative thoughts at bay. But when I saw that so many people could relate with what I was going through and vice-versa, it started helping me to come to terms with all the changes I was going through.”

Addite further adds, “It’s pivotal to have an understanding and a supportive partner and Mohit has been a blessing for both me and our son. Mohit and I made a pact early on that no matter whatever kind of thoughts I was going through I would tell him all. Often you just need someone to listen to your fears, inhibitions, just cry it out and be yourself. While I didn’t read up much, Mohit on the other hand is a reader and that helped me to keep myself updated about my condition, mood swings and how to deal with them. He’s a hands-on father and took on all his daddy duties immediately whereas I took some time to get around it all. We have been together for 15 years and never thought that we are missing out on anything. But Ekbir’s birth has made us realise what were we missing and he’s made our bond stronger.”

So does the couple have a POA ready given that Mohit is getting ready to get back to work? “We have help in our house, my parents live in the same building and I have an amazing set of friends, so it isn’t much of an issue for me. However, I think it’s going to be difficult for Mohit, as I know he’s going to feel very anxious and restless to be away from our son for long hours. As a professional, he’s very focused and there have been times when he wouldn’t even return my calls, now I’m eager to see how keeps himself focused (laughs).”

A common phenomenon that happens with every new mom is going through an endless amount of guilt. The constant thoughts of not doing enough for the baby, wanting to have some alone time are a few feelings that constantly weigh them down. So has Addite faced something like this? “Yes, recently when my in-laws were leaving for New Delhi they wanted all of us to step out for lunch. Although I could have dropped Ekbir with my parents, suddenly I felt guilty about leaving him alone and stayed back with him. I think every new mom goes through this but I try to not to let it affect me beyond a point."

Addite who has been a part of shows like Kahaani Ghar Ghar Kii, Banoo Main Teri Dulhann, Nach Baliye 4 was last seen in Chabbis Barah (2012). When quizzed if the long break from the showbiz was a planned decision she said, “I have never planned anything in life. However, after my show got over in 2012, I was travelling to Europe with Mohit and was fascinated by the cafés these. So I decided to explore this option and Mohit was on board."

The actor says, "As for a comeback on TV, I don’t mind doing a show but it should be worth my time as I would want to give my son and business equal time.” Quiz if she has anything specific on her mind and she quickly retorts, “I had hosted a show long back and would love to explore that.”