From being called ‘kaali’ as a kid to facing comments on ‘having a handsome husband’; Debinna Bonnerjee on fighting societal prejudices

From battling colourism as a child to facing comments about her "handsome husband," Debina Bonnerjee opens up about societal prejudices in her podcast. She reflects on hurtful childhood experiences, loneliness due to lack of friends, and mean remarks she's endured. Debina’s candid insights highlight her resilience and journey of self-acceptance amidst societal pressures.

I was the firstborn in my family. I was the firstborn but a girl. Obviously, no one was happy. People were displeased that the firstborn in the family was a girl child. My mom didn’t say anything. Because at that time, my mom didn’t have the power to think or say anything. That’s a different story.

In addition to this, I was also had a bit darker skin tone than the rest of my family. I had become a joke in the family. People would say, ‘tujhe hum road se uthake leke aaye hai.’ Back then, I wouldn’t understand it is a joke. I used to feel hurt from inside. ‘Kallu’, ‘tujhe humne adopt kiya hai’, ‘road pe mila hai’, I would often get to hear this. It started affecting me.

I became secluded due to this. I had no friends. I remember being asked ‘Who is your best friend?’ I didn’t have any best friend. I realised I had no friends in the entire school. When people ask me why I don’t go to Kolkata, I tell them I have no friends there. All my friends are in Mumbai. I have rediscovered myself in Mumbai.

When I came to Mumbai, apart from me being targeted, my parents also had to bear the brunt of it. Everyone started saying, ‘zaroor koi galat kaam kar rahi hogi.’ I am glad my parents shifted with me in Mumbai. And they still live with him. Many also say how a girl’s parents can live with her, because only a guy’s parents are allowed to live according to society’s thinking.

Then again during my marriage, I faced more such theories of society. Initially, people didn’t know about my marriage. But when people started knowing us, when we became famous, then people started commented, “Iss ladki ko itna handsome husband mila? He is too good-looking for her.” They would also say that he looks better with the on-screen pairs than with me in real life.

All the things, which were supposed to hurt me, only made me stronger. When my IVF was a success, I shared that journey with all because I felt people who are going through it are not alone and they will also see the light. Then when I conceived naturally, people started commenting that I discriminated amid my kids. People would comment on the size of birthday parties I would throw for my kids.

These theories are a way of society trying to bend us. I have fought all these and they haven’t been able to make me weak. You stay strong but you be confident and find your happiness.