Bhatti's spoof takes a dig at the Great Indian poll drama

MUMBAI: This is one political party whose membership is rising by the day. Shorn of pretence and false promises, it has no point to prove save one - self-aggrandisement.
Knowing that satire penetrates where criticism does not, the country's best-known comedians have signed up as mock candidates with humorist Jaspal Bhatti whose newest spoof during this general election is the Recession Party.The outfit pledges to beg, borrow and steal to improve its members' financial health.
The party has already gone national by posting people in Chandigarh and New Delhi; in Mumbai it is Johny Lever, Rakesh Bedi, Rajesh Puri, Ehsaan Qureshi, Raja "Laughter Challenge'' Rancho and Bhatti's long-time ally, Vivek Shauq, who have been allotted tickets to the six constituencies. Several others have gone home disappointed, among them a Chandigarh drag queen who wanted to fight a minister's daughter-in-law in a constituency reserved for women.
Thankfully for Mumbai, the welfare of its tired and poor figures prominently on the manifesto. Slum colonies like Dharavi will be granted heritage status and preserved and new ones encouraged so they can raise chances of producing Oscar talent. Each household is assured a personal boat to ferry it to safety in case of flood or sewage disasters.
The party does not even seek a fig-leaf cover for personal ambition. Each nominee to Mumbai's six constituencies has pledged to commit every fraud and embezzlement he can over the next five years. "For starters, I will chew up the deposits of my rivals Priya Dutt and Mahesh Jethmalani,'' says Rakesh Bedi who will contest from Mumbai North-Central.
Rajesh Puri got there first, though, by passing the hat around at the launch party and asking the media to chip in so he could file his nomination papers. Opponent Sanjay Nirupam had better look sharp.
"Unlike the run-of-the-mill politicians who wear white to conceal their dark secrets, we make no such pretences. We dress only in black because we will help you stow away your black money,'' Vivek Shauq said. Shauq is contesting from Mumbai North-East because the people in his own neighbourhood Mumbai North-West know him too well to vote for him.
Still, better than any coalition, it is the Recession Party that is likely to last a full term. "The moment we find one party pulling the rug from beneath our feet we will hop onto another bandwagon irrespective of ideology,'' promises Rajesh Puri. "We have no ideology of our own. Like water, we will mix easily with any substance.'' Sensibly, its election symbol is the adaptive chameleon.
On a serious note, each of them signed up with the party because he wanted to hold a mirror to the Indian politician. "Of course, none of them are showing signs of embarrassment. The Indian neta is a thick-skinned breed,'' laughs Bedi.
However, like many honest endeavours, the fate of the Recession Party also hangs in balance. The model code of conduct has been playing spoilsport. "We have petitioned the election commission in Chandigarh to allow us to campaign in the witty and satirical manner,'' says Bhatti. The local office is flummoxed by this request and has actually referred it to the chief election commission.