What does depression feel like? People share how they lived with it for years without knowing about it

There is nothingness, there is void, and you are submerged in an ocean of sad emotions. This is how words can be put together to describe depression.


But when we look at personal accounts of people who have fought with depression, we learn how big this psychological malaise is.


It damages one from within but the suffering remains disguised and keeps the person perplexed.

Riley Anderson, shares on Quora the ordeal dealing with depression and anxiety. "The nothingness desperately needs to be filled. Its inky black tendrils grasp at everything important to you: your interests, your hobbies, your social life, your self esteem. The nothingness swallows everything," Riley writes.


In a long post, Riley writes about the emptiness, sadness, brain fog, self-hatred, existential guilt, listlessness and lack of motivation.


"You have no hope for the future. You rarely, if ever, feel excited about anything. Nothing will ever get better. And, in the end, nothing matters anyway," Riley writes.

MAC, who says to have recovered from depression through cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, depression is the feeling that life is pointless. "Even performing the basic tasks of life becomes extremely difficult," MAC writes on Quora.


"Thing is, depression is your brain lying to you. Your life is no more pointless than the next person’s, and there’s always a reason to keep going. Unfortunately, you can’t see that when you’re in the depths. Because it can be fatal, seeking help for depression is vital," he writes and goes on to say how seeking help was one of the hardest things for him though that helped him recover from it.

For Sakshi, depression made it difficult for her to wake up in the morning.

She writes: I was exhausted from everything mentally and physically. I didn't have the energy or motivation to focus on anything.

I was not feeling hungry and thirsty. My whole day would pass without eating.

I used to wake up several times in the night and cry a lot without any reason. I felt that I don't deserve any good things in my life. I was feeling hopeless and worthless.


I was neither happy nor sad at that time. Doing things that used to make me happy no longer affected me .


I felt like I had no purpose, I just wanted to be alone and at a peaceful place where no one bothered me.

I had turned from an extrovert to an introvert, I was afraid of social gatherings. I used to get nervous, headache for no reason.

Sometimes my heart used to beat very fast and it became difficult to breathe.

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These stories tell us that depression silently resides in our mind and deepens its roots while we are entirely unaware of it.


It also has physical implications like lethargy which feels like the one we get when we have a cold or flu. Anxiety also gives headaches, which are often dismissed and managed by having a pain relieving tablet.


Depression also reduces one’s interest in food. Loss of appetite is overlooked easily these days.


Irritability, disinterest in doing daily activities, lack of interest in meeting new people, ruminating over past incidents are also indicators of depression.


We consider these signs as normal health issues and keep pushing ourselves to survive each day even when mentally and emotionally we are not ready to do that.

Hopeless outlook, lack of interest in everything, increased fatigue, sleep problems, nervousness, restlessness, feeling tense, feeling of danger, rapid heart rate, heavy sweating, muscle twitching, trouble focusing, irritability, change in appetite, unexplained weight loss or gain, talking about death and suicides and uncontrollable emotions are signs of depression.


These signs, if persisting for a long time, should be managed properly with the help of an expert. Do not hesitate to ask for help. A help in time will save you from the damaging effects of this cruel disease.