In life, there are some choices we regret. There are moments when we retrospect those choices, and think, “If only I could turn back time and change things.” However, life doesn’t work this way, and there are moments of regret. A similar thought was shared by a 70-year-old father, who took a moment to pause and look back at his younger days as a parent.


Vinod Kumar Sharma, a 70-year-old man, who goes by the name of ‘Insta Uncle’ on social media, shared a priceless lesson to young parents, which he learned from his own experience and mistakes. In an Instagram video, the old man reflected on the one thing he would have done differently if he had another chance at parenting.

70-year-old man shares the one thing he would have done differently

“Agar main fir se 40 ka hota, toh kuchh logon ko aoe ghar se door rakhta” (If I were 40 again, I would keep certain people away from my home), says Vinod ji.


The reason he cites is the questions those people asked his children. “Jinhone mere bete se puchha job kab lagegi tumhari? Engineer nahin bane toh kuchh nahi hoga. Aur beti se bhi puchhte the job karke kya milega? Shaadi ki umra ho gayi hai, shaadi kab hogi?” (Those who would ask my son, “When will you get a job? If you don’t become an engineer, you won’t achieve anything.” And they would ask my daughter too, “What is the point of working? You are at the age of marriage now, when will you get married?”)


The old man talked about the invisible impact these words left on his kids’ minds. “Vo log ghar toh aate the, par mere bachchon ka self-confidence bahut low kar jaate the” (They would come to our home, but they would lower my children’s self-confidence), he added.


He then shared a powerful line: “Bachche failure se nahi, har us sawal aur comparison se toot jaate hain jo unka confidence low karta hai.” According to him children don’t break because of failure; they break because of the questions and comparisons that lower their confidence. His ultimate message was, “People who make our children feel small just to make themselves feel bigger are not necessary in our lives; they are optional.”

A reminder for parents

The mistake Insta Uncle made at the time he was younger is the same mistake many parents make. They feel external validation is important and miss the fact that some words can make children feel inferior and question their self-worth. Criticism can surely make some kids push themselves, however, not all children are the same. What children need is guidance, not judgement to feel motivated and confident about themselves.