What kids learn when parents apologise

In many households, parents are seen as authority figures who are expected to be right at all times. Here are several ways that parenting has been and continues to change and adapt for the better, including being honest and emotionally intelligent in parenting, which means being willing to say ‘sorry’ to our sons and daughters. The simple act of ‘sorry’ means so much more to our children than we can ever imagine, and it teaches them several things, some of them including:

When parents apologise to the child, the impact of the apology is that it proves to the child that it is a strength to take the blame for one's action. This will help the child to become an adult who will not avoid accepting the blame for their actions. Rather, the child will be willing to look into themselves and accept the blame for their actions. They will also be willing to make an apology for the wrongdoing that they have committed.

Apologies acknowledge children’s feelings. That’s because parents’ acceptance of the fact that the child has been wounded by something they have done and said will help the child to realise that the child’s feelings are matters of significance and importance, no matter how big or small they may seem to others.

Through apology, parents teach children how to communicate. In effect, children learn that in communication, one does not aim to conquer or win an argument but to relate and understand. This instils in children how to communicate in a cool and composed manner without raising their voices or becoming aggressive in their responses to others, whether it be their friends or future spouses.

Apologising as parents allows for the cultivation of trust between parents and children. They are safer in the knowledge that their parents are fair and self-corrective. This allows children to be open with their parents regarding their faults, fears, and difficulties, since their parents are open with them as well, and thus their bond becomes stronger.

By means of an apology, children learn what empathy means: a parent understands what hurt has occurred and strives to make things right. The children learn how what they do affects other people’s feelings. In this manner, with time, they develop to be more understanding and learn to apologise from the heart. What happened is that empathy is one essential value necessary for them to treat others inside and outside their families.