4 types of attachment styles in relationships, which one is yours?

Attachment styles in relationships are the patterns of how we connect, bond, and interact with our partners. The attachment theory is developed by British psychiatrist John Bowlby and American psychologist Mary Ainsworth. According to their study, our relationship with our primary caretakers in our childhood (read parents), which was our first relationship in life, has a huge impact on how we bond with our partner in adult life.

Psychologists Mary Ainsworth and others have identified different attachment styles based on observations in children, and it is later applied to adults by researchers including Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver. Here we list down the four main attachment styles that are seen in most adults. Which one is yours? Identifying your attachment style will help you understand yourself and your relationship with your partner better.

People who have secure attachment style are comfortable with intimacy and independence in their relationship. They can depend on others and allow others to depend on them. They seek emotional closeness with their partner, trust them, and feel secure in their relationships.

People who have anxious-preoccupied attachment style seek high levels of intimacy, approval, and responsiveness from their partner. They often worry about being alone, abandoned or unloved by their partner. They may be overly dependent on their partners, and be too sensitive to any changes in their partner's mood and the relationship in general.

People who have dismissive-avoidant attachment style have a tendency to be emotionally distant from their partner and prioritize their independence in the relationship. They have a fear of intimacy and dependence in relationships. People who are dismissive-avoidant avoid emotional closeness with their partner, and they may be uncomfortable with their emotional expression.

People who have fearful-avoidant attachment or disorganized attachment style have mixed feelings about relationships. They desire and fear closeness with their partner in a relationship. They may experience internal conflicts in relationships. Such people may have difficulty trusting others, fear rejection, and struggle with emotional regulation.