​5 ways to deal with financial imbalance in marriage​

Marriage is not about a ‘Your money–My money’ chessboard, where two partners sit opposite each other and put forward financial responsibilities to win at the end. When it’s often said that money can’t be the deciding factor in a relationship, it’s also true that money is one of the most important components in achieving a peaceful marriage. Not both partners earn the same all their lives. Their spending capability changes, and sometimes the graph goes upwards; at other times, it hits the lows. Arguments start taking place when each starts pointing fingers instead of embracing the highs and lows. Outside the strawberry bubble, people face financial insecurities every day, and as a result, they develop a coping mechanism of ‘blame-game.’
Here are 5 ways how you can navigate when you are constantly fearing conflict with your partner regarding financial imbalance:

Financial instability brings insecurity. Over time, it turns into an inferiority complex, and every action of the high-earning person starts to feel like a taunt or a subtle effort to show off. If there is a price tag attached to the saree or shirt that your partner gives you on your birthday, it does not necessarily mean they want you to know the amount invested in the gift. It can be because once the price tag is removed, it cannot be replaced if needed later because of size or colour issues. Communicate instead of assuming. Assumption can only add to the miscommunication; it can never lead to any solution until and unless it’s communicated without any barriers.

Nobody spends money on family with the intention of getting insulted or called out. In the course of marriage, financial disparity is common, and most of the time, partners don’t mind supporting the other person—just as ‘common’ as it should be. But just like any other factor in a relationship such as love, care, and effort, ‘financial balance-making efforts’ should also be recognised and appreciated. Instead of appreciating their partner for contributing to the family, if one keeps on labelling them, calling it ‘showing off’ or ‘too much dominance,’ the pure intention gets lost under the pile of insults. The partner who earns less should understand that if the other person is trying to take the burden of bills without making it a big deal, their efforts deserve to be encouraged.

Somebody’s financial status can’t be their whole personality definition. In many cases, it happens that the one who earns more starts to feel they have power over the other and the family decisions. It also appears they stop taking the other person’s opinion seriously because of their financially inferior condition. Sooner or later, it leads to a significant problem larger than financial problems in a relationship. One’s value in a marriage or in life cannot be decided by what their bank account looks like, but rather by how they play the role of emotional support, the role of a parent, and the role of a partner. Try to respect all forms of contributions equally to avoid superiority complexes.

Research suggests that couples who combine finances earlier in their lives or when they both earn in a stable condition, later—even if any of them faces financial constraints—the finance pool would work like a backup savings where both partners contributed equally. It helps to experience fewer financial conflicts and greater relationship satisfaction.

Life changes every day, every moment. Financial capabilities change accordingly. The earning–spending dynamics are meant to be based on the position you are currently in. The approach towards handling money should be adopted flexibly without any hesitation. Review your earnings consistently and save–spend based on what it currently looks like, not based on what it used to be in the past. It keeps you in the loop, and you’ll not be shocked suddenly if you see your savings are tightening. Adaptation is key to long-term harmony. It gives clarity to yourself as well as the person you are with.