7 married couples talk about ‘external’ factors that damage their relationship

Life after marriage is not a cakewalk for any couple. Everyone takes their own time to adjust to their new life and understand their partner better. While little arguments, misunderstandings and fights are a part and parcel of this relationship, but there are times when a couple is in love but their relationship might still go through a rough patch. The fights and arguments might not be due to their compatibility issues or misunderstandings, and there could be ‘external factors’ that damage their relationship. Whether it is in-laws, financial or professional issues, we asked seven couples the challenges they faced because of others and here is what they shared.

“Recently, I switched to a new job. Instead of being concerned about how will I commute or manage household chores all by myself, my father-in-law was only interested in knowing my package and how much I would be able to save. His ‘greedy’ attitude made me take a step back and I stopped sharing my finance-related information with him. My husband is not comfortable with this but I can’t help the situation."

“I have shifted to a new city after marriage and unfortunately, I do not like it here. I have an amazing husband but the pressure of this new job, language barrier and living in this unfamiliar city makes me feel depressed. In turn, I end up arguing with him over petty things. ”

“My mother-in-law is a nice woman and loves to do every household chore to perfection. According to her, there should not be a speck of dust on the TV screen, every cupboard of the house must be organised, all the utensils must be cleaned the moment they are used, every dish should be cooked as per her liking–her list of specifications is endless. She is great at her job but she expects the same from me. I have a nine-to-five job and I cannot imagine myself slogging at home like this every evening. Hence, we often end up arguing and my poor husband gets upset.”

“The first year of my marriage was not-so-good. It was an arranged marriage and my sister-in-law used to instigate my husband against me. From my dressing sense to cooking skills, she had a negative opinion about everything. Initially, my husband used to get influenced but with time, we understood each other better. One day, he politely asked my sister-in-law to stop being so opinionated.”

“My wife shares her problems with her best friend. I do not have a problem with that but what really worries me is when my wife follows her advice without a thought. She is not married and does not understand the complexities of a married life. Not just this, she comes to our house unannounced almost every weekend, the only time my wife and I spend quality time together, and they talk the entire time. There has to be some limit and I plan to talk to my wife about this.”

“My husband has got a really wide friend circle. They gamble, lie at home and a few of them mistreat their wives. I am scared that my husband would pick up such habits and we often argue when he hangs out with them every second day.”

“My in-laws and I have completely different spending and saving habits. I am not a spendthrift but I earn and like shopping. On the other hand, they save every penny wherever possible. Needless to say, they raise eyebrows whenever they see a shopping bag in my hand or when my online order arrives. They leave no opportunity to mock at me for my shopping habits. Now, I have started ordering stuff at my office address.”

(All images used here are representational)