Love Marriage vs. Arranged Marriage
Most of us fantasize about meeting an amazing person, dating him or her for a good time, informing the parents about it, getting everyone’s approval and finally tying the knot. That’s the definition of a perfect love marriage for many, right? It’s the stuff of fairy tales and most dream about it. But there also exists a section of people who prefer to have an arranged marriage and they have their own reasons. What are those? Here are seven real-life stories of why some chose to have an arranged marriage…
A happy marriage is not only about love
“A marriage in Indian society is about two families coming together and sharing a life. You have to be compatible with your partner as well as your in-laws. I think arranged marriage is a more pragmatic option because you get to see your spouse’s family, understand their values and beliefs, expectations from their daughter-in-law, and seeing how compatible you can be with them. Yes, love matters in a relationship, but it is definitely not the only thing that makes a marriage successful.”
I trusted my parents
“I have had my share of relationships but nothing worked out. When I wanted to get married, I trusted my parents to make a right choice for me. Of course, I had the final say and I met my wife several times before saying yes to the proposal. But my parents surely understood the challenges of married life better and helped me to make the right decision.”
It’s a gamble
“Whether love or arranged, marriage is a big gamble. People can fall out of love or change with time even if they had a love marriage and there is no way you can predict how happy a couple would be years after getting hitched. I found my partner on a matrimonial site and we have been happily married for 15 years.”
It’s all about adjusting with your partner
“A perfect marriage is about two imperfect people sharing a life and embracing each other the way they are. Whether it’s love or arranged marriage, every couple needs to accept their differences, have a never-give-up attitude and choose to love each other on good and bad days. Having a love marriage does not mean it is going to be the end of all your problems.”
Because of my family
“I belong to a very conservative family and love marriages are a big ‘no’. I always knew my parents won’t be happy if I marry someone from outside our community and intentionally dated guys who were from my caste. Though I met several guys before saying yes to the one I liked but I always knew arranged marriage was the only option for me.”
I have seen love marriages falling apart
“I saw a few of my cousins and close friends leading not so happy lives after marrying the person they have been love with before marriage. Love marriages do fall apart and I realised a successful marriage is about finding the right partner, and it does not matter whether you or your parents find the person. I found my soulmate through an arranged marriage and have never thought how my life could have been different if I had a love marriage.”
I have seen my parents' successful marriage
“My parents are professionally successful and are an example of an ideal, modern couple. My father equally helps in every household chore, looks after the house when my mother goes on an official tour, and my mother still goes out of the way to make him feel special. They have been married for 28 years now and still go for date nights once or twice a month. They had an arranged marriage and knew how to make it work. That’s what matters the most—finding your soulmate and putting continuous efforts to keep each other happy”
(All images used here are representational)