His/Her story: My wife yells at me in public and makes me feel like a loser

Her story: After we got married, I realised my husband needs to learn some very basic everyday things like not making any noise while eating, walking erect, using the toilet hygienically. This is something that should have been taught by his parents, not me. But I still believed in the beginning that I can make him change but all my efforts have gone in vain and I am totally frustrated with him. I have begun losing my cool and to add to that I have so much work pressure. I don’t know what to do. It has all boiled down to me yelling at him in public sometimes. I get irritated with everything he does now… He is not the man I fell in love with.


His story: She yells at me in public for every little thing I do. My walking, my talking, how I eat on the dinner table, everything irritates her. She does not even realise that she is crossing her limits. It is so humiliating when she yells at me in front of people. She told me that I have some awful habits and I need to rectify them, but it will take me time. No one ever corrected me while growing up so I need some patience from her. She makes me feel like a loser sometimes.


Expert advice by Dr Gaurav Gupta, Relationship Expert & Psychiatrist: When the wife says my husband yells at me in public it defines the insanity and insecurity of the husband and vice versa. This is quite an ugly secret that is tearing apart Indian families and one of the most common reasons is unresolved issues at home. If the wife or husband yells in public, it is time to calm them down as this could be a very embarrassing situation and when you are back at home, speak to him/her about the situation. It seems that your spouse is either stressed or wants to be under the control of the situation, that's why he/she is yelling at you in public. But it is a red flag for the relationship and you should seek urgent advice on this matter as with time it can worsen. Public abuse can lead to domestic violence and the situation can be very damaging for you both.


Love Coach, Jigyasa Uniyal: Yelling at someone in public is not a good sign in any relationship. You should talk it out with her and try to resolve the issue as soon as possible. Shouting at one's life partner in public is extremely demeaning. No one has the right to demean you as you are a special individual in your own way. If she repeats this again, just walk away from her at that moment. Once you reach home, tell her very sternly that whatever she has done was extremely disrespectful and that it should not be repeated.

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