What is a 'doormat' in a relationship?
Priyanka Chopra Jonas has taken over the world with her global presence in films and entertainment. She has become a global icon and she seems quite happy with her ongoing success, all with the support of her doting husband, American popstar, Nick Jonas. However, she was not so confident and happy in her previous relationships. In the latest episode of Call Her Daddy podcast, Priyanka revealed that she felt like a ‘doormat’ in her previous relationships. “I just thought I had an idea of what a relationship should be like, and I kept seeking that and trying to fit the people that came into my life into my idea of that relationship."
“I literally would become like a doormat and I was like, okay, that's fine because, you know, that's what women have been told for such a long time that our role is to glue the family together or you've got to make your man feel comfortable when he comes back home."
She further said that this eventually made her feel invisible in a relationship. This leads us to wonder, what is it that makes a person feel—so taken for granted? Being a ‘doormat’ in a relationship means you are being stepped on—your needs are not valued or prioritised in a relationship whereas you are the one who is always prioritising your partner. While doing so, you may feel taken for granted or taken advantage of, in a relationship.
It is absolutely essential that you stand up for yourself and your needs. You should be able to voice your opinions and communicate your needs in the relationship. You should be able to feel heard. Here are some ways in which you can avoid being a ‘doormat’ in a relationship.
Communication is key
Open and honest communication is the foundation of any successful relationship. Clearly express your needs, concerns, and expectations to your partner. It's important to establish boundaries and make sure your partner understands what you require to feel valued. Encourage your spouse to share their thoughts and actively listen to their perspective.
Set clear expectations
Clearly define what you expect from the relationship, including aspects such as mutual respect and simple appreciation from your partner. By setting these expectations early on, you help your partner to understand how to treat you with the respect you deserve. Regularly revisit these expectations together to ensure you both stay on the same page.
Practice self-care
Taking care of yourself is crucial in preventing your partner from taking you for granted. Maintain your individuality, pursue your own interests, and invest in your personal growth. By nurturing your own well-being, you demonstrate that you value yourself, and your partner will be more likely to appreciate your unique qualities and contributions.
Express gratitude and appreciation
Both partners should actively express gratitude for each other's efforts and contributions. Regularly acknowledge and appreciate the things your partner does for you and the relationship. Simple gestures like saying ‘thank you’ or showing small acts of kindness can go a long way in making your partner feel valued. When appreciation becomes a mutual practice, it strengthens the bond between you two.
Maintain a balanced relationship
It's important to create a relationship where both partners feel equally valued and supported. Avoid falling into one-sided dynamics by ensuring that both of you contribute to the relationship's growth and well-being. Encourage open discussions about how you both should divide common chores, and responsibilities and how you both can maintain balance and prevent getting your feelings hurt or taken for granted.
Read also: We asked college students what marriage means to them
Read also: We asked college students what marriage means to them