Exclusive: Surviving on black coffee to getting bullied on sets; Thapki Pyar Ki fame Monika Khanna shares her struggle story

Monika Khanna, who is currently seen in Ekta Kapoor’s production Prem Bandhan, gained immense popularity for her portrayal of Shraddha in Thapki Pyar Ki. Having made her debut with Mahi Way in 2010, the actress has struggled her way to reach her happy space where she is now. Speaking to ETimes TV exclusively for her show Prem Bandhan, Monika shared her struggle story during the initial period of her career. Excerpts from the conversation.

I started my career in 2008 and the first project (Mahi Way) happened in 2010. The previous project got shelved. The journey has been beautiful. Mumbai has accepted me with open arms. When Mahi Ve happened, Facebook was a social media platform and I got many followers. I felt like a star. I was like now I can choose my roles. But I remembered a saying of Shah Rukh Khan. He said, “Your destiny chooses the first role for you and then whatever work you choose that makes your career.” So actually my struggle started after Mahi Ve. I didn’t have work for one year. I had my own ups and downs. There was so much financial problem I got into. The journey was a roller-coaster ride. I can now resonate with every newcomer and the struggle they go through because I have been through that.

That journey is very necessary as it makes you realise once you have reached the stage you are in and it keeps you grounded. Else, fame gets into your head. Everyone has their own struggle story and coming out of it. I believe I was surrounded by many supportive friends. I might not be in touch with some of them, but I know that they are there. They have been with me through all my ups and downs. I remember, during my financial struggle I didn’t have anything. I didn’t even have a stove to cook. There was no fridge and often I would just drink black coffee. There are many such small incidents. In one of the shows I was bullied quite a lot. But I overcame that. My friends pulled me out of it saying, ‘Don’t worry, it happens in this industry’. They are not a part of industry.

After wrapping up one show, sitting at home for 6-7 months till you get a new show and surviving with the savings that you have… it was difficult but not impossible. I believe in Ganpati and I think he saved me in every aspect of my life. My journey has been difficult but amazing at the same time. There was a time when I didn’t have anything. And now, by God’s grace I have what all I need. It has taken me 12 years to make this life and this home. I am touched and really proud of myself that I am taking care of myself and my parents very beautifully.

It was in the very initial stage. That time I didn’t have anything at home. I didn’t have stove or a fridge. I was very new. I didn’t know how shooting schedules work. I didn’t know it was a 12-hour shift. I was unaware of all the technicalities of the show. During the break time, everyone used to laugh at me because I would stuff my plate with a lot of food. Nobody knew that I wouldn’t be getting food at home. So, I used to eat a lot on set so that I remain full and don’t feel hungry when I go home. Without knowing the reason they would bully me saying ‘How much you eat?’ ‘You are becoming fat’, ‘You won’t be able to pursue your career like this,’ ‘You have to look thin,’ ‘You are looking mature than your age’ and all sort of stuff. I used to cry because I didn’t tell anyone about my condition. We tend to become very judgemental without knowing the backstory. I think we should be kind enough to people. We should support people when we see someone doing something it makes them happy.

People have started believing in other’s validation. It’s not necessary. You know who you are. People are struggling in so many ways. After seeing all this, I feel we should be kind. I faced this long back. And I have just received love after that. People love me the way I am and I am happy.

It is very unfortunate to think that being fair and thin is the definition of prettiness. I don’t believe in this. But this is the sad reality of our society. They have defined beauty in one sentence – you are beautiful if you are thin, tall and fair. I have heard many stories of my colleagues where are not even allowed to audition if they are dark. They say, ‘You don’t fit the bill’. Look at Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Irrfan Khan… they are not fair. They are brilliant in their own way. It is changing somewhat now.

People are becoming more educated and practical. But I just have one complain – why are TV shows still about a bechari bahu. Why can’t we show other aspects of women, them as strong, working class, coming to another city and their real struggles? Why do you always have to show them crying. But you also need to see that even after crying, she is managing the entire household. She is a superwoman, whether or not the family understands. I also get answers that most of the rural people connect with these characters and that’s why such shows works. I just want the beauty and fairness stereotype gets over.