R. Madhavan on Parenting: 5 Ways to raise kinder, more patient kids

R. Madhavan is often admired not only for his films, but also for the calm, values-driven way he talks about raising his son, Vedaant Madhavan. Throughout interviews and public talks, he presents his parenting style in a manner which is both simple and systematic, instilling discipline, leading by example, and helping children understand that their actions create their personality. Here are five parenting techniques to learn from him:

(Photos from: Instagram)

The actor frequently stresses on how people remember tiny acts of kindness for decades to come. One instance from Madhavan became viral after he recalled his experience of when his child politely addressed a driver of the vehicle, leaving a mark on the man forever. The basic idea here is that children don't need to do anything extraordinary to be remembered. Little acts of courtesy suffice. In other words, parents should train kids to say 'please' and 'thank you,' along with treating everyone with equal respect irrespective of their relationship. In a conversation with BrainyQuote he said, “Being a parent, it is heartening to see your child wake up every day at 5:45 in the morning to pursue his passion.”

One of the parenting philosophies that Madhavan holds dear and talks about most frequently relates to something he was once advised by one of his mentors while studying abroad in Canada. He saw that those who ensured their kids were occupied with something kept them on track and away from harmful elements. He has often advocated for having a proper schedule involving physical activities, studies, or some form of hobby for children so that they remain engaged and find some meaningfulness in life. In conversation with Edelweiss Asset, Madhavan recounted his experience living abroad and the lesson from his Canadian host mother, “Don’t give your child free time”.

Madhavan often mentions the very disciplined routine that his son goes through as a swimmer in the early mornings and during his training. He does not consider discipline as a punishment but rather as a lifestyle choice. Children become very patient as a result of this practice because patience is learned through routine. Patience is all about waiting for the results and knowing that things take time. Routines help build patience.

Madhavan admitted that parenting practices should not be exactly like their parents’ generation. In order to relate to his son, he had to redefine some of the parenting practices that he learned from his parents. This change shows how Madhavan now believes that parenting practices should involve communication rather than forcefulness. Children who grow up in such environments become very patient. While talking to IANS, he said, “Things that I grew up with, which were totally acceptable, where we love and adore our parents for what they did to make us who we are today, I can’t do that with my son anymore. So, I have to redefine the rules for myself as a father to have the same amount of impact so that he turns out that way.

In all his discussions about parenting, Madhavan stresses one concept: Kids watch everything. Whatever it is from being polite, hard-working to how they handle other people, kids learn through observation more than through words. That means that rather than just preaching patience or being kind, parents have to be patient and kind themselves, showing restraint in tough circumstances, communicating effectively when stressed out, and keeping their emotions in check. In an interview with Mashable Middle East, he said, “If you expect me to be this cosmetic father who will come to all your school games and expect, that's not going to be me… But if you ever need any help… I will always be on your side.”