Why you should ‘marry for money’, according to a top divorce lawyer

For centuries, we have been told to ‘marry for love’. ‘Find love,’ they said. And that’s the only thing that really matters in a long-term relationship, they vouched. Lena Nguyen, a leading divorce lawyer licensed to practise in Texas, California, and New York, however, challenges this fairytale concept. “You need to marry for money. Do not marry for love,” the lawyer said in an Instagram video, which has been going viral ever since. Her advice may be controversial, but she has solid reasons as someone who has witnessed financial tragedy derailing lives.

The lawyer, who has spent years in courtrooms witnessing the breakdown of marriages, love fading, and financial struggles casting a shadow over people’s lives, argues that marriage is as much a financial arrangement as it is an emotional commitment. “Imagine marrying for love and watching your children have so much potential, but not being able to provide for them. As a divorce lawyer, I have seen that exact moment play out in real life more times than people want to admit. Marriage is a business contract,” she said.

We've been conditioned to view marriage primarily through an emotional lens. People always tell you to follow your heart and think less about the money involved. While this may still work in rom-com films, it often falls short in real life. “We romanticise this idea of marrying for love like it's the most noble decision a person can make. Follow your heart. Ignore the money. Everything will work out. It sounds beautiful until your child is 10 years old, asking why everyone else on the team has private training, and they do not,” she explained.

Think from a logical angle. Will your child appreciate that they cannot go to a summer camp because their parents married for love, not money? Raising children requires more than just emotional investment. You need money. And no amount of love can fulfil what money can. “People hate when I say this, but children are extremely materialistic. Not because they're spoilt, but because they are observant. Children live in the real world. They see which classmates go to summer camps, who get music lessons, who travel, who have tutors, and who get a laptop that actually works. Children notice the difference between potential and opportunity,” the lawyer said.

Think about it. Your child is brilliant, curious, talented, and full of energy. Your child is perhaps incredible at maths, sports, or the arts. But then you realise that money is the one thing keeping them away from their dreams. Now, how does that feel? You cannot teach your child to dream within limits, can you? “That is a brutal realisation. Children do not care about your love story. They care about the environment in which they grow up. They care about the doors that are open to them. No child is sitting there thinking, at least my parents married for love. They are thinking, why can't I do that too? That question lands like a punch in the stomach. This is the part that people avoid saying out loud. Love is amazing, but raising children is not just emotional. It is logistical. It is expensive. It is strategic.”

This does not mean you should only marry for money. But when you select your partner, know that they need to match your financial stability. Because in the end, money matters. Money perhaps cannot buy all the happiness in the world, but it makes your life easier. “This does not mean you marry someone only for money, but pretending money does not matter when you plan to raise children is not romantic. It is naive. Potential without resources is like a Ferrari with no fuel. Beautiful, powerful, not going anywhere,” the lawyer concluded.